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Quote1 Doctor Strange, Earth's Sorcerer Supreme, has gone rogue. Quote2
-- Thaddeus Ross

Appearing in the 1st StoryEdit

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Synopsis for the 1st StoryEdit

Onboard the Thunderbolts' submarine, Thaddeus Ross informs his team that Doctor Strange has gone rogue, showing them a folder of the Sorcerer Supreme grinning maniacally while wearing only blue underwear, the Cloak of Levitation, and the Eye of Agamotto. Deadpool jokes about the size of Strange's "magic wand", causing Ross to snap that the situation is serious and that Strange has gone completely insane and is bending people to his will, forcing even the most violent of criminals to be happy and benevolent. When the Punisher asks if he kills those who resist, Ross replies that there is no resisting, showing photographs of members of two rival gangs working together to build a playground, Spider-Man eating ice-cream with Jigsaw, and Hammerhead running a flower shop. Flash Thompson sees no problem with this, commending Strange for peacefully ending crime, but Electra and Samuel Sterns disagree. Ross informs them that Strange becomes more powerful with every person he forces happiness on, and that if left unchecked he could conquer the world inside of a week. Ignoring Deadpool's teasing, the Punisher asks what they should do, and Ross responds that they need to kill Doctor Strange. Deadpool responds gleefully, but Flash refuses to go after an Avenger and Sterns remarks that ethics aside they can't kill Strange given how mystically powerful he is. Ross proposes that they acquire an arsenal of magical artefacts and weapons to do the job, dividing the Thunderbolts into teams of two.

At the Bloodstone manor, Electra and Deadpool rappel down the wall, the former rebuking the latter's repeated attempts to flirt with her. Killing the monsters guarding the door, Electra uses acid to break the lock and they sneak into the mansion. Deadpool's banter alerts Elsa Bloodstone to their presence and she attacks them alongside Frankenstein's Monster and the Living Mummy, incapacitating them and throwing them into a dungeon filled with unkillable giant monsters to be eaten. Elsa sits down for a cup of tea and tries to puzzle out who the intruders are and why they'd try to rob her, but is alarmed by the sounds of violence suddenly stopping. She checks the room to see her unkillable monsters have been slain and the Bloodstone stolen.

Onboard the Thunderbolts' sub, Agent Venom and the Punisher prepare to enter a portal made of Uru, the former asking where Ross even got it. The Red Hulk tells him to get his head in the game and the Punisher says it's time to kill some gods. As they cross into Jotunheim, Agent Venom protests that they can't kill gods, to which Frank Castle responds that he's the Punisher and can kill whoever he wants. Coming across a group of Frost Giants, Castle shoots one in the back of the head; causing Agent Venom to remark that was easier than he'd thought it would be. Castle notes that it was too easy and shoots the downed Frost Giant in the head until it explodes. As dozens of enraged Frost Giants charge towards them, Agent Venom states there's no way they can win and asks the Punisher what they can do. Pulling out a flamethrower, Castle responds they can die with honor before setting the nearest Frost Giant ablaze, and Flash allows the symbiote to go berserk and lunges jaws-first at another. As they battle against the overwhelming odds, Valkyrie appears to claim them for Valhalla and is shocked to see Flash. She demands to know what he was thinking picking a fight with Frost Giants; and Agent Venom incredulously asks the Punisher if the plan was to get themselves killed or in an unwinnable fight to summon her, wondering what the next step is. The next morning Flash and Valkyrie lie in bed together, Castle wryly states that the plan was a honeypot trap to steal Valkyrie's Dragonfang sword. Waking Flash up, he radioes Red Hulk for an extraction and tells Flash he can return the items when they're done with them.

At W.A.N.D., S.H.I.E.L.D.'s magic division, Director Pandora Peters inquires what the situation is on a horde of Mindless Ones swarming the Arc de Triomphe in Paris. Told that agents dispatched to investigate possible witches in Salem have gone missing, she remarks that she'll take over the investigation herself after her 2:00 appointment. Entering a room, she and her second-in-command Todd watch as the Red Hulk and Red Leader are summoned by "hoodies". Peters introduces herself, ensorcels them to obey her commands, and informs them that she was the one who contracted them to assassinate Doctor Strange. Wondering why she's bothering to brief them when she'd going to erase their memories, she escorts them to W.A.N.D's armory, which contains an assortment of mystical and divine weapons, artefacts, and vehicles. Red Hulk arms himself with a battering ram once used to smash the gates of Heaven, while Red Leader is fitted with a modified version of Iron Man's Uru armor suit. Peters departs for Salem, leaving Todd to erase their memories and replace them with a false one of fighting the ghost of Doctor Druid at Stonehenge.

Back at the submarine, the Thunderbolts prepare for battle, Red Leader casting a spell that will apply the Bloodstone's powers to all of them. Doctor Strange suddenly appears via astral projection and corrects his pronunciation, revealing that he knows what they've been up to and telling them to bring it on. Red Hulk arms himself with the demonic battering ram and Orthan Ba's sacred relics of Kh'Bor; Deadpool with Count Pocus's Magical Mystery Top Hat of Wonder and a stage magician costume; Electra with Valkyrie's sword and the Elfskin Cloack of Whispers; the Punisher with Anton Danger's Lazurus Jacket and Ghost Rider's hellfire shotgun; and Agent Venom with a shield, glaive, and Milfour's Dragonhelm.

Arriving at the Sanctum Sanctorium via Hell Cycles, the mystically-augmented Thunderbolts are greeted by a horde of mind-controlled civilians blocking the way to the entrance. A massive swarm of faeries attack them, and when the Thunderbolts fight back the remaining fairies shed their glamour to reveal themselves as insect-winged octopus-headed eldritch beings. The Venom symbiote lets out a screech and melts off Flash when one touches it, and Red Leader's armour's sensors begin screaming in terror before going insane and informing him that they are Lovecraftian entities. Elsa Bloodstone and Valkyrie arrive, the former stating that the beings they're up against are "True Fairies" - a type of the Old Ones that H. P. Lovecraft wrote about. Valkyrie rebukes Flash for tricking her as the symbiote rebonds to him. Elsa tells the Thunderbolts that she and Valkyrie will hold off the True Fairies while they take on Oberoth'm'gozz - the king of the True Fairies and the entity impersonating Doctor Strange. Red Hulk contemptuously smashes a hole into the Sanctum Sanctorium's wall and the team confronts Oberoth'm'gozz, who informs them that their mystical artefacts and weapons are nothing to him and that he will feast on their happiness. The Red Hulk snaps that the Thunderbolts don't do happy, but his rage-fueled transformation suddenly reverses and the Red Leader, Electra, and Agent Venom, succumb one by one to Oberoth'm'gozz's Aura of Bliss. The Punisher and Deadpool advance on Oberoth'm'gozz, who blasts them with Maw of Happiness, Euphoria Magorium, and Darkest Delight. Deadpool succumbs, leaving only the Punisher - who is completely unaffected by Oberoth'm'gozz's strongest spells. Informing the eldritch god that killing is the only thing that makes him happy, the Punisher shoots Oberoth'm'gozz with Ghost Rider's hellfire shotgun, blasting him out the window of the Sanctum Sanctorium and seemingly killing him.

With Oberoth'm'gozz's hold on them broken, the Thunderbolts and other affected people return to normal. Elsa and Valkyrie reclaim their stolen relics, and W.A.N.D. arrives to handle the cleanup and revive Doctor Strange. Pandora apologizes to Red Hulk for getting his team involved, saying W.A.N.D. would have handled it themselves had they known "Dr. Strange" was an imposter. She commends them for a job well-done, and then wipes their memories of the incident, replacing it with the Thunderbolts eating shawarma together.

  • There is a typo on page 12, with Agent Venom saying "with" instead of "win".

Solicit Synopsis:

  • The Thunderbolts' new mission? Kill Doctor Strange. Of course, they're gonna need a pretty special arsenal for that.
  • "Thrilling Adventure Hour" creators Ben Acker & Ben Blacker take the Tbolts on a whirlwind tour of the Marvel Magicverse!



See AlsoEdit


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Footnotes



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