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Quote1 Hi there, true believer! It's Smilin' Sulatu and Oscillatin' Oago talkin' atcha! Y'know, there've been a whole lot of clearly classic movies over the years, and we love every frame on their film reels! But if you're like us, there's just one question that keeps nagging at the back of your hoary head… Quote2
-- Smilin' Sulatu src
 

Smilin' Sulatu was a member of the Watchers,[1] a highly-advanced alien species that has sworn to watch other worlds without interfering in their progress.[2] Smilin' Sulatu was also the partner of another Watcher, Oscillatin' Oago.[1]

Smilin' Sulatu was a fan of the classic movies made on the planet Earth (either in his home reality Earth-9047[1] or in the main universe, Earth-616, as Watchers can watch the events in parallel universes).[3] Being also a fan of what he called the Mighty Marble Style, Smilin' Sulatu thought that classic movies could be improved if remade as comic-books, with Marble characters in the main roles. Smilin' Sulatu obtained two classical movies that way, and arranged their showing in a movie theater. Smilin' Sulatu invited Oscillatin' Oago and several other people to the premiere, including the reader, and he grabbed popcorn and soda. Before starting the projection, Smilin' Sulatu addressed the reader to explain what was going to be shown. Smilin' Sulatu apparently assumed that many people thought in a similar way to his, wanting to watch movies that way; and that Oscillatin' Oago was among those people. Oscillatin' Oago was only mumbling at that time, and Smilin' Sulatu decided that it was due to a problem with peanut butter.[1]

Smilin' Sulatu then showed Marble's version of John Huston's The Maltese Falcon, with Chaplain America in the role of private detective Sam Spade that Humphrey Bogart had made popular. In his version, Baron Zero disguised as the very attractive Scarlett Wench (Mary Astor in the original movie) to hire America to find the highly-valuable Malted Falcon, an artistic chocolate sculpture that looked liked Sam Wilson, the Falcon. A crimelord played by Kingking, and called only the "Fat Man" (Sydney Greenstreet in the original movie) then threatened America with his two thugs Woolvie and The Pulverizer so that America find the Malted Falcon for him, not for the girl. America obtained a package, supposedly hiding the coveted Falcon, and he then discovered Zero's disguise. Knowing that the Falcon he had gotten was a fake, America gave it to the Fat Man, who was aghast when he saw he had The Malted DeFalco (In the original movie, the Maltese Falcon was also a fake). America then left romantically with the shapely Zero.[1]

For the next movie, Smilin' Sulatu had no more popcorn or soda available, and he explained his interest in Driving Miss Daisy, a then-recent film where an old-school woman (Jessica Tandy in the original movie, in an Academy Award-winning role) made a weird friendship with the chauffeur (Morgan Freeman in the original movie) that her relatives imposed on her, and this relationship help her adapt to the modern world. Smilin' Sulatu also adapted, but he adapted the movie and explained details to the audience while Oscillatin' Oago was already sleeping in his seat.[4]

In Smilin' Sulatu's version, Medoozy of the Quasi-Humans family was becoming grumpy with the age, but the Quasi-Humans knew that she would stop aging if she could appear regularly in comic-books. To do so, they needed to hire a guest star, and the Toast Rider was chosen as Medoozy's imposed chauffeur. Toast Rider's limited vocabulary and aggressive attitude improved the sales and, to profit from it, Medoozy changed from bad-tempered to bellicose. They made so much income than Pulverizer and Wolveream (previously known as Woolvie) felt threatened, but were unable to stop them. Toast Rider eventually hired a Ghost Writer to expand his lines.[4]

Powers

Beyond the usual powers of the Watcher alien species,[5] Smilin' Sulatu has the ability to break the fourth wall and talk directly to the readers of the comic-books he appears at.[1][4]

Abilities

Smilin' Sulatu has the ability to film, produce or otherwise obtain adaptations of previously-existing movies in the Marble style.[1][4]

Weaknesses

Like most Watchers, Smilin' Sulatu is quite tall and has a very big head; this is a hindrance for the person sitting behind Smilin' Sulatu in the cinema.[1]


Equipment

Smilin' Sulatu has bi-colored three-dimension spectacles.[1][4] He sometimes also uses a box of popcorn and a soda.[1]

  • First appearing in The Malted Falcon in What The--?! #19, that same appearance was presented as the contents page in the same issue, with only slight modifications.[6]

Discover and Discuss

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 1.8 1.9 Marble Movie Madness: The Malted Falcon in What The--?! #19
  2. Tales of Suspense #53
  3. What If? #1
  4. 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 Marble Movie Madness: Driving Medoozy in What The--?! #21
  5. He's clearly a Watcher, it is assumed he's a normal Watcher until otherwise noticed.
  6. Contents page in What The--?! #19



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