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Rufus "Ruf" Washington was a simple and poor guy living in a poor neighborhood with his mother and a cow, Bossie. He was a mutant whose powers have not developed yet. At one time, while the alien Snarfs were invading Earth, suddenly all the chocolate chips cookies disappeared. Washington's mother sent him to change the cow for chocolate chips, which she intended to seed in their garden.[1]

Washington reached New York City and was attracted to a seedy bakery shop, where unscrupulous bakers known as the Sunshine Mob forced him and another innocent person, rich girl Tawny Boraxo, to eat their recently-developed synthetic substitute for chocolate chip cookies. The cookie reacted with Washington's mutant powers, twisting them and transforming him into a gateway to a chocolate dimension, as well as giving him a cloak-like disguise with a cookie-shaped brooch—and transformed him in the superhero Clunk. Boraxo, also an undeveloped mutant, similarly received dough-generating powers and became Dagnabbit.[1]

As soon as the chocolate-hungry population discovered their powers, however, Clunk and Dagnabbit became the target of a crowd, and had to run away. They were saved by the children superheroes, Bower Brats, who intended to perform a good deed and get chocolate. Clunk and Dagnabbit gave them chocolate, and the Bower Brats explained that they had a plan to get the "Cookiee Crook:" Using Clunk and Dagnabbit as a bait, but giving them a homing device — a doll owned by Assault 'n' Battery! of the Bower Brats, which she could track wherever. Clunk and Dagnabbit agreed to the plan.[1]

They were promptly kidnapped by the Cookie Crook and taken outside Earth to the lair of Galactapus; but the Bower Brats tracked them. Galactapus was forced to explain his motivations, mostly that he was still hungry, and Lickitysplit of the Bower Brats convinced him to eat the invading Snarfs instead.[1]

The Bower Brats, Clunk and Dagnabbit returned to Earth, no longer besieged by an alien armada or by a cookie shortage. Thus, Clunk and Dagnabbit were not chased because of their powers, and they took the chance to swear an oath: They would fight even bakers who sold their products after the sell-by date. However, Clunk broke into tears because he missed the doll.[1]

Soon afterward, Clunk and Dagnabbit joined an all-out battle where many of the superheroes were fighting each other, first because of a villain having tricked them, but later simply because it was good for the sales. During the fight, Clunk and Dagnabbit faced Night-boomfer.[2]

Later, Clunk and Dagnabbit noticed that the mutant S-Factor increased sales, as proved by the X-Persons, so they made a request to join the elitist club of mutants.[3]

Clunk then joined a great number of several other high-level superheroes, led by Chaplain America, in an effort to oppose the super-villain Thermos, who was destroying the universe using the Infinity Mitten in an attempt to impress Death. Clunk and his partners posed for a photograph and then launched a combined attack against Thermos. They failed and were killed, along with the rest of the Marble Universe,[4] but soon afterward apparently the whole universe was restored.[5]

Powers

His body was turned into a living portal to an unidentified dark, rich chocolaty place. He also generated a groovy cloak at the same time.[1]

Abilities

Clunk seems to known some other language because he once said "Le pew le sqonk le polecat."[2]



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Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 Bower Brats Meet Clunk and Dagnabbit in What The--?! #1
  2. 2.0 2.1 When Titans Bunch! in What The--?! #1
  3. Mutant Beach Party Part 2 in What The--?! #4
  4. The Infinity Mitten! in What The--?! #24
  5. as exemplified by any story after The Infinity Mitten! in What The--?! Vol 1, including the rest of #24 and two further issues; however, Clunk did not appear again.



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