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John McGurk (Earth-5311)

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Origin and overview

Long John McGurk was an alien cyborg pirate of an unknown race from an alternate dimension from Earth. He was the captain of a flying sky-galleon known as the T'ai Javinee. McGurk's crew routinely conducted raids against the noble floating city of Bel Amee Anora.

One day, Long John McGurk discovered a strange passenger on his ship. A mutant from the planet Earth named Nightcrawler, and a small, purple dragon named Lockheed suddenly appeared on the deck of the T'ai Javinee. The pirates mistakenly believed Nightcrawler to be a member of a race of impish creatures known as Boggies. They further believed Lockheed to be a Frumious Bandersnatch. Captain McGurk ordered his men to apprehend the stowaways, and a brief scuffle ensued. However, a peace was soon established between the combatants, and Kurt was welcomed among them as an honorary part of the crew. As Nightcrawler possessed no means to return to his home dimension, he decided to make the best of his situation and eke out a life among the pirates. He even went so far as to teach them games of chance such as Poker.

Long John McGurk 02

After a week's worth of time though, Kurt found himself at odds with his new friends. The T'ai Javinee came upon the Royal Barge of Bel Amee Anora and opened fire upon it with their high-tech deck cannons. Although Kurt enjoyed McGurk’s hospitality, he could not allow them to attack an unarmed opponent. Nightcrawler took command of the T'ai Javinee's weapons and fired several shots into the ship's deck. Captain McGurk ordered his men to attack Nightcrawler, but the teleporting mutant easily evaded capture. Kurt and Lockheed escaped from the T'ai Javinee and boarded the Royal Barge.

Captain McGurk ceased his attack against the barge, but followed it back to the floating city of Bel Amee Anora. He knew that Nightcrawler would be among them and was determined to get revenge for his betrayal. He instructed one of his female cohorts, Meg, to bait Kurt into a darkened alley. While Kurt attended to Meg's "needs", McGurk slugged him from behind. He then sold him to an evil sorcerer named Shagreen.

Long John McGurk 03

McGurk later regretted the transaction, as Shagreen paid him in less than the agreed upon amount. He piloted the T'ai Javinee to Shagreen's fortress at L'un Dun-T'wn and released a volley of cannon fire. Nightcrawler escaped from the sorcerer’s clutches and made amends with Captain McGurk. Long John and he then worked together to bring Shagreen's citadel crumbling down. With the threat of the sorcerer extinguished, Long John McGurk bade goodbye to Nightcrawler and set sail for greater fortune.

Crew of the T'ai Javinee

  • Blackknob
  • Meg
  • Slimey
  • Spikenose
and many other unnamed pirates

Abilities

Long John McGurk was skilled in the arena of piracy and possessed charismatic command capabilities. He was likewise proficient with various high-tech firearms and siege weapons.

Strength level

Long John McGurk possessed the strength level of a healthy, adult male of his race who engaged in moderate regular exercise.



Equipment

Long John McGurk possessed a cybernetic left hand. The hand's capabilities, if any, remain unknown.

Transportation

A sky-galleon named the T'ai Javinee

Weapons

Long John McGurk used a highly advanced laser pistol, and occasionally carried a cutlass.

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Footnotes



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