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Dirk Anger (Earth-616)

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Quote1 Hot damn! Get me a case of vodka, eight loose women and a stomach pump! Stat! Imma watch TEEVEE! Quote2
-- Dirk Anger src
 

Dirk Anger is the Director of the Highest Anti Terrorist Effort alias H.A.T.E., and apparently oversees all operations aboard the Aeromarine consist of several submarines, bolted together. Dirk is fully aware that the Beyond Corporation, which funds H.A.T.E., is the newest version of terrorist cell S.I.L.E.N.T., however, he simply doesn't care. [citation needed]

Dirk is well over ninety years old due to a variant of the Infinity Formula which extended lifespan. Dirk has been married at least once, and at at one point he met Winston Churchill and beat him in a hula hoop contest. [citation needed]

Dirk has a multitude of psychological issues, including misogyny, bulimia, alcoholism, nicotine addiction, depression, sadism. He is obsessed about a flowery house dress that may have belonged to his late mother. It is implied that his mother is in fact Andrea Dworkin, but he may have been joking. [citation needed]

He was at one point fed chopped-up baby chicks through an intravenous tube; it is unknown whether this is a regular treatment. He has also revealed that his wife, upon turning forty, refused to give in any longer to a fetish of his involving a wig, a chicken, and a bath full of acid; she then apparently took all his money, painted everything pink, had him adopt 'a million screaming little snot-factory children', and went under the belief that her womb would fall out should he touch her. [citation needed]

Dirk regularly plays Russian roulette with a giant gun with the barrel that curves back around to point the seat atop the gun. He also attempted to kill himself by taking an overdose of pills in a bowl of ice-cream. Shortly after he began to eat however, he got word that Nextwave was in a death situation and he was free to watch them. Given a new will to live, he asks for "eight loose women and a stomach pump!". [citation needed]
Dirkangerzomb

Dirk Anger, undead.

Dirk accidentally committed suicide by hanging during his pursuit of the Nextwave squad. However, the Beyond Corporation had installed a "Zombie Switch" in his brain, preventing him from dying, yet leaving him craving human brains. He apparently was completely destroyed when he ordered his Aeromarine to ram Nextwave's ship into Beyond's floating city. [citation needed]

Dirk's last words were "My Name's Dirk Anger and I say **** all of you." [citation needed]

Powers

Longevity: Dirk Claims to be 90 years old because he takes special 'H.A.T.E' life extending drugs.


Weaknesses

Seemingly insane, Dirk is suicidal, bulimic, psychologically imbalanced, and prone to bouts of crippling depression.



Transportation

H.A.T.E. Aeromarine

Weapons

Drop Bears; Samuroid Batch 23; Homicide Crabs; Armageddon Horn

Claims to smoke 200 cigarettes, 100 cigars, 1 bottle of whiskey and 3 bottles of wine with his dinner of raw meat (that he apparently fights bare handed before choosing the bits he wants to eat and has the rest buried)

  • Warren Ellis, creator of the Nextwave series, originally wanted to use Nick Fury, but was told he couldn't, so he was forced to create Dirk Anger.
  • There was a package with a label saying "Beyond Corporation Best, Dirk" among Storm and Black Panther's wedding gifts

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