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Quote1 Yes, Chair… Sometimes I worry about the demons that drive him. He's a loner, a rebel-- and proud of it. And yet, he is one of us--until that fateful day when he loses control and the monster within him destroys us all! He's his own man--his own chair!! Like the cheese, he stands alone! Quote2
-- Bucket src

History

The item called Chair was an inanimate object, a chair indeed. Nonetheless, the testosterone-overloaded superheroe Crowbar treated Chair as an old friend, and give it a place in his super-heroe team the Eccentrics, based in New Rochelle, New York. Chair was accepted by the other two members of the Eccentrics, who considered Chair to be a male: hormonally-imbalance Karmel referred to Chair as "mon chere" and thought it was much nicer that strict Crowbar; and hard-hatted Bucket respected Chair's supposed unique attitude—to the point of fearing it.[1] Even the enemies of the Eccentrics respected Chair, with Gene Pool calling it "their most formidable and overexposed member" and "the finest fighter on four legs."[2] Crowbar trained the Eccentrics as soldiers, because he believed that, as the common human population would hunt the Eccentrics if they knew about them, the Eccentrics should start preventively hunting the common human population.[1]

Exercising in some place that looked like the Dingy Room, Chair's unflinching, unmoving coldness gave it the skill to dodge two training missiles that would have missed anyway. After that, they were interrupted by a siren alerting them about a "surprise emergency food-run training thingie" [sic.]. Crowbar grabbed a leg of Chair and led the team to their vehicle, the Eccen-truck, driving them toward the supermarket with Chair in the back part of the truck. During the trip, Crowbar ran over someone, but he later told Chair that he, Crowbar, had right of way and that Chair must have seen it. Chair didn't answer because it was an inanimate object without voice or sight.[1]

Once in the supermarket of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (or of a guy who looked like him), the Eccentrics started looking for supplies and Crowbar went head-first for silky way bars, taking Chair with him. Unfortunately, there were no bars in stock. Crowbar took this as a personal affront and attacked Nahasapeemapetilon by throwing Chair to him. Chair hit Nahasapeemapetilon on the head, making him drop a pile of coins that hit Bucket on the head and caused him an anxiety crisis. Due to the attack, the police appeared and the Eccentrics took their leave. Chair fell from the Eccen-truck during the escape while, at the wheel, Crowbar boasted about how the Eccentrics never lost any members and took care of each other.[1]

Chair felt prey to Fred, Crowbar's evil twin doppel ganger (sometimes known as Fred, Crowbar's identical cousin from England). Fred took Chair to his secret lair in the basement of the Eccentrics HQ and, fearing the power of Chair, chained it to a wall and kept it constantly watched while he made his own evil plans. He got a copycat of Chair, with a more commercial, armored covering. He also monitored the activities of the Eccentrics.[2]

Meanwhile, the Eccentrics placed advertisements looking for their missing members (At least the placed advertisements in the inner wall of their HQ; don't know if anywhere else); Bucket believed that Chair was wandering alone. The Eccentrics were then beaten by several enemies, led by Gene Pool, in their own base, and then the armored copycat appeared, as if thrown inside the room by someone else—and everyone there believed it to be the real Chair. This changed the tide: Crowbar "took a seat" and used it to defeat the enemies. Then, he pat the copycat Chair, claiming that it was not the first time it had saved the Eccentrics. Karmel hugged Chair, happy to see it again and admitted to have thought that they would never see it again; and Crowbar asked for the tale of its adventures. This scene was secretly being eavesdropped by Deathshatterer in his secret lair, who in turn was being secretly watched by Lexiak, who was being monitored by Mr. Bat-mom in his cave, who did not know that Professor Etrangé was keeping an eye on him, while at the same time Etrangé was unaware of the Eccentrics monitoring the whole cycle. However, Fred in turn was monitoring the Eccentrics, apparently with no-one monitoring him, from his lair in the basement, with the prisoner Chair able to look over his shoulder.[2]





Notes

  • Chair is lucky enough to dodge missiles directed to it.[1] It is considered a good fighter, and Fred seemed to fear it moving, because he chained it to a wall.[2]


Trivia

  • Chair was captured by Crowbar's doppelganger and later replaced by a copycat. This mimicks a story arc in X-Force, where Cable's doppelganger Stryfe captured Domino and replaced her with Copycat.


See Also

Links and References

  • None.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 The Eccentrics in: Milk Run in What The--?! #25
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 The Eccentrics, Part 2 also in What The--?! #25