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This page contains a listing of all notable quotes by or about Wade Wilson (Earth-616).

It may not be the definitive list, so please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source.
Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.

(This template will categorize articles that include it into Category:Quotes.)

Quotes by Wade Wilson (Earth-616)

Quote1 It's an angel of God. My glorious Bea Arthur-- Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Duh! Paper or plastic? Hellooo? You have any idea what plastic bags do to the environment? I'm Al Gore's message of death, bee-yotch! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Well if it isn't Nathan Christopher Dayspring Askani'son Summers... or are you just calling yourself Priscilla now? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hey. Naked Avengers painted on the side of the pool. This guy's a loser but he's my kind of loser. Where's Sue Richards...? Duh, Invisible Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 "This place makes the best Chimichanga on the island. Don't even like Chimichangas all that much. I just love saying it. Chimichanga. Chimichanga. Chimichanga. Chimichanga." Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 No--wait-- do you have any idea how many STD's I could have? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Did you ever have one of those lives...? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Iron Fist is a beautiful Porn nickname. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 ''Rolaids only has seven letters. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Once, a tragic divide rocked the Stars and Stripes. Civil strife pitched brother against brother. Blue versus Grey. It was a terrible time, blood and guts and everything in very depressing sepia. It was called The War Between The States, but now we call it the Civil War, like we own the title or something... Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Well good morning to you, too. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I don't them. I don't need to. I know who I am. In T-Ray's mixed-up memories--ones that he shared with me--I was wearing my Deadpool costume when he found me. But I didn't become Deadpool until after I left Project X--after I got this healing factor to cure my cancer. After my mom dies of cancer when I was a kid. After my dad died in a barfight because of one of my drunken friends. After I'd been kicked out of the army. Which I'd sighed up for as Wade Winston Wilson. Because that's who I am. And anyone who says differently... is just imagining things. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Can you send me forward to the time when I was mowing my lawn and my next door neighbor, Mrs. Nowicki, asked if I could rub lotion on her back and I ran and locked myself in the Bathroom? I'd really like a do-over on that one, please. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Don't you ninja monks ever shower? I mean, what are you...french? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Doctor Not Apollo Creed? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Back in 1984, all the big heroes were taken to space for a SECRET WAR – and here's what REALLY happened! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You! You're loving this I bet! You just love that you're the only one with a cool shield, don't you?! Well... you can take that Red, White, and Blue monstrosity of yours... and shove it straight up your -- Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Yeah... well... I actually brought you here to maybe heal Mr. Fantastic or even the Hulk... some one with the smarts to think our way out of this... but I guess you're more concerned with your big dumb boy toy. Smoking hot... heroically posed... making the ultimate sacrifice... and I'm still chopped liver to the guy made out of metal. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Did you hear that? He called me an Avenger! I kind of feel like if Dr. Doom calls you an Avenger, you're pretty much an official member of the team! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I've got all these new abilities, and -- for the moment -- I'm feeling an incredible sense of responsibility... and the desire to commit acts of great violence! My super hero origin is complete! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Maybe one day we'll meet again... when you're not hung up on somebody else... and I'm not being hunted for sport! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hey, pal. You look a little lost... like maybe you need a friend. Don't worry... I'm not talking about me. Sooner or later, I rub everybody the wrong way. But... you never know. You might find what you're looking for inside. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 At the end of the day, this is a Deadpool problem. There's only one way to deal with those. And it looks a lot like this. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I don't know what you did to me, but keep your lips to yourself, woman. Or you're gonna make me do something I regret. And that's my job. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Listen, babe, I know we haven't known each other that long, but if there's one thing you don't have to school me on -- it's vampire hobos! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 C'mere Summer Stage. I maybe would have let you cut my other arm off. But when you start threatening to cut my wife up -- then it gets personal. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 There are some... uh, I dunno what you would call them -- magic-eating robots attacking Shiklah's Monster Metropolis. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Bring me more Pop Rocks and Dr. Pepper. Prepare to bathe my monkeys. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 So we steal some transport, hit the swamp, subdue the alterna-verse zombie version of myself, reunite Shorty with his body, avoid Man-Thing, then hop through the portal and hope it's not on the fritz. What could go wrong? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 We're going to need a new blimp. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Say Jar Jar Binks is an abomination. Say it! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Oh, man. He sure is talking a lot. Got to stay...focused. Boring speech causing...attention...to wane. Yeah, tacos sound good. I like the soft chicken tacos. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You don't want to eat me. I irritate the bowel. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hey, Professor Veronica loves me for who I am. She says my scars are a roadmap of a loner's experiences, the rough texture of living! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You have any idea how hard it is to find a joint that'll serve a guy in a mask and bandolier? They won't even let me into Taco Bell! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 In the immortal words of Clark Whatsisname -- up, up and away! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Wow. Whaddaya know? Logic stops the Juggernaut! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Where would one buy Hippity-Hops in bulk? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 It's an angel of God. My glorious Bea Arthur-- Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You should talk. Your costume's so tight you can tell what religion you are. Ever hear of a cup? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Shut up! The old Spidey-tracer trick I can't believe you still get away with that. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You mean Tomb? No worries there -- he's been taken to the po-po by some buddies of mine. He's about to do some serious time. I'm talkin' "wearing-a-dress" time. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Come ta think of it -- I've seen tougher KEN dolls than you! An' I mean take yer pick here -- mod-hair Ken -- disco Ken -- summer fun Ken -- I let Barbie whip me 'cos I'm a wuss Ken -- Any o' you guys lissenin' t'me? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Did he say Jughead-naut? Is that someone who searches for the Archies? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Edsel, huh? Good name for yer little tank...'cause for all the crud you three just put me through -- I'm gonna make you all obsolete! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 AAAAAAAAGHHH!! Packing chips! That's the greatest weapon on the face of the planet -- styrofoam packing chips! Just imagine getting nailed by some of these babies! Oh the humanity! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Believe it or not, there are worse-tasting parts of me. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Snakes are nature's Swiss Army knives of murder. You can use them to bite, you can milk the venom out, or in a pinch you can strangle with them! Order your deadly snakes today! Offer not valid in Utah! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 And they lived happily ever after, until a retcon do they part... Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Okey-dokey. Usually people hire me to kill someone else. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You should know I'm undefeated against opponents with nose rings. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I don't know what you did to me, but keep your lips to yourself, woman. Or you're gonna make me do something I regret. And that's my job. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 What a weird day. I'm having fun, and I haven't killed anybody. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Does it smell like wet dog to you? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Listen, babe, I know we haven't known each other that long, but if there's one thing you don't have to school me on -- it's vampire hobos! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You want to hire me?! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 No, no, it's nothing like that. I want you all on my Christmas card! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 By the power of Laverne and Shirley, help me lose this Squirrel Girly! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 "Just sit right back... you'll hear a tale... a tale of a fateful trip..." Be honest with me, Scott. Ginger or Mary Ann? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I think I'm in over my head. And theirs. Why don't you put down the frying pan and help me catch the bad guy? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Everybody who hangs out with me ends up getting headless. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 A demon is going around decapitating people from my party. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Doctor Strange, bring in our next contestant! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 No, no, it's nothing like that. I want you all on my Christmas card! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Everybody who hangs out with me ends up getting headless. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 A demon is going around decapitating people from my party. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Time's up! Yes, I said that. I stand by it too. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Y'know, Nate, all four of your fans are going to be very disappointed with this chapter... but at least I know how to give my Chimichangettes what they want! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 It's a time-jumping psycho bunny who needs a villain name. Split Second. I just came up with that. Again. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Oooh, Deadpool, why do you have so many pouches? They're useless... blah, blah, blah -- jumper cables, baby! Link his temporal harness to mine -- give it a power boost -- and depending on how many pages are left in this story, that should be enough to... get us back to where all this started! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Y'know, Nate, all four of your fans are going to be very disappointed with this chapter... but at least I know how to give my Chimichangettes what they want! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Oooh, Deadpool, why do you have so many pouches? They're useless... blah, blah, blah -- jumper cables, baby! Link his temporal harness to mine -- give it a power boost -- and depending on how many pages are left in this story, that should be enough to... get us back to where all this started! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I like forbidden, possibly contagious fruit as much as the next guy... but the contract specifically said not to open the crate. Let's wrap it up and make our delivery. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Ignorance is my copilot. It's time to cash in on these ill-gotten gains of ours. And what better way to pick the pockets of all these greedy little villains... than an auction? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You guys should really take a break from all your carnage and mayhem... and come take a look at all this carnage and mayhem! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You're like a girl version of that old Spidey villain, right? I ask because... You know... If there are more girl Spidey-villains, I have this great idea for a Sinister Six calendar. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I don't need to quit the team. The Mercs bring in cash. I just need to be in charge again. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I miss that other guy. He'd have known just what to say. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 That is dumb. And Spider-Man is a champion against dumb! Am I? Let's see, fat guy in a rhino outfit, old man with wings, a variety of goblins, sand that is a person, water that is a person, octopus doctor...I am a champion against dumb! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 By the power of gray sku-- No. Damn it. How do you activate this stupid-- Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Oh my God! I FORGOT THE DOG!'' Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 What the hell's a quatloon? Some Kind of Potato? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Is this what it's come to? Deadpools killing each other? Such a waste. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 The only thing you're going to be is shish-kabob. And as soon as I find my lungs, I'm taking you back to the Kingpin for supper! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I really find you very attractive. Did I say that out loud? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 This guy's got to be rare, and I'm a friend of the earth...so I'll tranq him, and take him to a brilliant zoologist somewhere who can teach him to eat fruit and chill. ...Maybe learn sign language and get a kitten. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Monstertown. It's like a steampunk shantytown for every nightmare I ever had as a kid. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I'll hold your hair back while you puke, cuz that's just the kinda guy I am. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 BREAKER! BREAKER! This here's the Big Dee Pee! You copy, good buddy? I'm comin' up on your tail! I'm puttin' the hammer down! I'm catchin' you on the flip-side! WE GOT US A CONVOY! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 So what do you say, boys...? Team up...? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You know something? I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 UGH! That was awful...all my thoughts strung together so dreadfully dull and plodding...like some glacially moving freight train of suck! My God...that must be what it's like...to be a total loser like you! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 "Pwangg?" Trees don't go "Pwangg--" Llamas don't go "Pwangg--" Nothing found in nature goes "Pwangg", which means -- we're officially hip deep in the smelly stuff. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Please, Al, a little warning next time... Some of us aren't blind y'know? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Shhh. My common sense is tingling. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 "Time to make the donuts! Wait maybe you were expecting me to say spoon... Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Lay off the geriatric jokes will ya? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 My God, I'm not some human scab-factory anymore! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 -- How do you say "Oh, $#@!" in Skrull-ese? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I've been besmirched! This besmirchment will not stand! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Oh, no! He's beating our meat! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You know what? &@#$ tacos. And waiting. Damn you, Bullseye...damn you for making me hurt the ones I love. This time, it's personal. This time...it's for the tacos. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 ''AHRR! Let's get it on...pirate-style! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I'm gonna join the X-Men. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Answer me something, Egghead. Was it just because I have an accelerated healing factor that I was able to take down an entire unit of Skrulls -- including Chilly McHotpants over here? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Take your stinking paws off him, you damn dirty -- Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Tell your partner in crime over there in the truck to come on out. So I can multi-smite. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Got a proposition for ya, Grizz. Think you're gonna like it Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hey, check it out -- they had a bomb in there! So I used it to bomb their asses! Who's the man? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 These colors don't run. Unless they have to! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Wow, you look... really hot with that gun. Wanna go get some tacos with me after I finish killing the rest of these Draculas? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 ... Just a great big bag of shiny new gold coins. With a dusty claymore in the bottom of it. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Wait...why is it called "Point One"? Who Cares? At least this issue there is a point. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Now this chair is really comfortable. Yeah. But can it Explode?! Didn't think so. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 He's not punking me! Okay... he punked me a little bit. But c'mon! How'm I supposed to do my thing when he's already doin' my thing! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 O.C.D. -- what was I sayin'? Did you see me displayin' the skills that get the kills for those who're payin' me? Oh, you don't know? See, I'm so good it's freakin' scary! Dealin' out death, the world's greatest mercenary! Huh! Good thing you happened to come across this particular edition -- it's full of information that you're missin', dide! Like what I've endured to provide the audience with entertainment! Listen as I deftly explain it: Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Just so you know? This was all my plan, not yours. I used you. You gave me exactly what I wanted. I wanna die. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Here I am. Alive. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Looks like that's a "No." Or maybe he does understand, but he doesn't give a &*%. Hmmm... nah, gonna stick with "Doesn't understand." He is, after all, a monkey. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 What do I do? Stinky Fish Head and Huey Lewis are holding my lady friend hostage and I only have two bullets left! How in the world am I going to use these conveniently placed Christmas decorations to save her? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Yeah. That is a gun in my pants. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see you... Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You're looking at the chihuahua, right? Sometimes I go too far, I'm the first to admit it. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Here comes DEADPOOL! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Yeesh. Is there another Clone Saga going on or something? You've really lost your biting wit, Spidey. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I might be crazy, but I'm not karaaazy. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Well, these look like knockoffs. Speaking of fake and Mandarin, I loved the third Iron-- Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I don't see The Watcher anywhere, let's assume that nothing important happened. That's always my guide. "No Watcher, no problem." Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Come on down, Butler! I'm not a guinea pig anymore! I won't go back! Come on! Get some! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 This is important! One of them could be my daughter! Please don't let Eleanor be here. Please. Please. Don't be in here. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hi, I've got problems with ghosts but I don't know who to call. Sorry, I'm nervous... I haven't seen a doctor in years. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I'll come back... When I do, things will have to be different. Better. Things will be better. They'll have to be. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 The Hand, the Yakuza... No wonder Wolvie and Ol' Hornhead hate Japan. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 So far marriage is pretty awesome, and the new crib is like living in a Tim Burton movie. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 She's just kidding! Of course this has to get violent! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hang on, Ellie. I'm coming for you. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I know he's scared. He's not the only one. This whole crazy event did a number one me... All that peace I felt is gone. I ruin it because I can. Because it's easy. I've fought for Preston. For the Camachos. I've fought for my friends. I've tried to make these people not just safe, but happy. I didn't go looking for these people. They walked into my life. And now the imbalance is restored. I've fought for the happiness of everyone around me. I've been willing to die for that happiness. I now realize I've never experienced happiness. I put on a good show... I simply don't know the meaning of the word... And I never will. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I'm a man that can regrow anything, including, evidently, a conscience. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Please welcome the "Magic Mike" of the Weapon-X program, the "Alabaster Bastard," the man that's always whipping it out-- Omega Red! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I give myself over to this end. I am safe in love. I can live with this finale. If I'm going out, at least I'm taking everyone with me. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Nope. No more jokes. My name is Wade Wilson. You killed my friend. Prepare to die. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Here comes the Armored Avenger's most intoxicating adventure! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Deadpool-Man! Deadpool-Man! Does whatever Deadpool can! Makes a plan, any size, catches thieves and makes them die. Look out! There goes the Deadpool-Man! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I need you to do me a favor. Find Vetis' boss and make a deal with him. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 My people will ask you to sign a non-disclosure agreement. You must never divulge that I worked for free. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 This isn't even my final form, Creed! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I can't keep looking backwards. I'll waste my life. I have too much to look forward to. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Don't minimize my pain. I'm blind, Daredevil. Look it up. I can't. Because I'm blind. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 That's my super-power. I'm a pick a path to adventure where every choice ends up in tragedy. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I probably deserve that. If not for today, then something else. Anything else. Everything else. I deserve whatever bad comes my way. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I'm sure a real hero would have something profound to say to you to make you feel better instantly, but... I'm all you got. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I'm feeling a little emotionally vulnerable after the Unity Squad imploded, and financially insecure after the Deadpool merchandise slowed down. But I'm trying to keep my chin up. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You blame me for what you've become -- but you were always a monster! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I've lost my edge. If anything tells you how off-balance I am, it's the simple fact that I'm unarmed. I gave the Mercs everything I could. I'm giving the Avengers everything else. I lost my family and maybe my wife, Whatsherface. I didn't leave enough time for me. I guess that's why I didn't realize until right now... that someone close is playing with me. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Because one day we woke up and the world was different. And because... you are different. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Would I lie to you? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hill! Let me fight! Please. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Okay, hand -- if you can hear me, make a fist. We have a lot of people to punch today. Yes! Crap. I'm talking to myself again. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I remember. I finally remember the truth. You killed my family. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hey, kids! Sing with me! ♫ The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round. ♫ My fists #$& up Sabertooth's face: pound, pound, pound. ♫ Pound pound pound. ♫ Cats go meow meow meow? ♫ Uh. Don't be a Deadpool, stay in school! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Yeah, I'm trying to remember... last time was that thing with Spider-Man and Daredevil, right? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I didn't get my tonsils out! You don't get credit for bringing me to the hospital when it's your fault I'm here! We were supposed to have each other's backs, and you didn't have mine. And you forgot a spoon. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Woo-boy! Looks like some dismembered body is getting an upgrade! Four symbiotes! Four big honkin' hankerings to waste Carnage! And here I though split personalities were fun before! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I think what they're trying to say is... If you strike me down... I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. And also... I am your father. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 ⚞SIGH⚟ Sorry, kid, your life is precious... because if I save you, then I can stick it in Logan's stupid hairy face forever. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Come on! Someone has to die for real! I mean, what is this, a Marvel Comic?! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Okay! Well! That's that. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Am I about to help my friend, or become my tormentor? I have to sit and think it over for a while. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Time cops, time cops, whatcha gonna do when Deadpool comes for you? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 So going back to face him last Christmas seems like a bad plan. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You're like a girl version of that old Spidey villain, right? I ask because... You know... If there are more girl Spidey-villains, I have this great idea for a Sinister Six calendar. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Dude--No one liked En Sabah Nur! But everyone loves Evan! Evan's that hope that we can all be better. That no matter where we come from, no matter how bad it was or what people expect us to be--nurture can beat nature. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I want to ride my Sky-Cycle, Sky-Cycle, Sky-Cycle! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 No... No... Can't get beat... By dude with... Arrows... Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I want to ride my Sky-Cycle, Sky-Cycle, Sky-Cycle! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hey, Barton! This is how you use a Sky-Cycle! For drive-bys on penthouses! For soaring majestically over this beautiful, filthy city! And for saving your friends! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 His name is Hit-Monkey. He's a hitman. Who's a monkey. You don't believe me. Look around you, dude -- he's real. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Ha! Eat that, Hitler! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I am confused by you morally, psychologically and hormonally. A perfect mind-$%@# trifecta. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 It's big. The big nothing. A nothing of forever. A place God's hands have never touched. Outside of space. Outside of the universe... outside of Eternity. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 ' Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Are you guys seriously a video about this? Everything you need to know is in the story title: Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe! It doesn't get anymore TR;DR than that. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 What's that? I already have a new series? They just killed me! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Waaaaay more exciting than any kind of mummy. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Dude, I had to hack that off to save you from zombie germs. You should totally put me on your Christmas card list. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Attention circus patrons! I have come from another dimension to take your daredevil pooch. He is needed to save many worlds. I know his adventurous spirit is up for the task. Also, I have a crapload of liver treats in my pocket. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Deadpools Assemble! No. Wait. That's been done. Huh. What could we call ourselves? What could a corps of Deadpools call a bunch of Deadpools that are all Deadpool at our core? Hmmmmmmmm. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You ever hear of the Wade Wilson Special Theory of Merc Motivation? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You know this is where super heroes go to get eaten by Dinosaurs, right? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Man... I'll never look at a nun with anything but fear in my heart from now on... Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Magic-boy, I don't think you understand this writing comic book stuff! Once you are within the universe you have to follow the rules you've set up! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Funny story, Shiklah -- I actually have been hiding from you -- ...and yet here you are... oh, by the way, I shot your lover in the head again. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 We're accomplishing nothing by sitting here, so I'll scout the premises for Dracula guano. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Listen to yourself! I'm not letting you throw everything away for this one psychopath! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 If I'm going to be serious from now on, I'm going to need a new gimmick, like a gnarly eyepatch, or a fake limp, or a talking Chia Pet. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Great! Communication! Okay, just three things! A) Do you think A-Force monitor duty is pants-optional? 2) If you secretly sniffed Doop when he was asleep once, do you need to go to confession? Annnnnd... is your boss Peter Parker an evil genius or just an evil villain? Mostly that last one. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Making jokes and maiming crooks. We're back, baby! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You stole my pirate yell! Mother%*&#%$! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Oh, no... you had too much succubus. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You were a fool, Spider-Man! By grafting me to this horse, you've made me stronger, faster, and more powerful that I ever dared dream! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I'm so turned on right now... and seriously terrified of you. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Sh-shot through the heart...AND YOU'RE TO BLAME! Awww, you give love -- a bad name! Daww dawww dada dada dawww dawwww. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Fine. I'll G-Moz it for you. Spooky castle. Mad scientist. Monster Juice. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 So you know you're in a comic book. Your own comic book, even. And you think that gives you special protection. What? Because you're popular? Well, I've never heard of you. Your name is Gwen? I guarantee anyone who doesn't read this thinks you're Gwen Stacy. Do you know who's heard of me?! Everyone. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Get to the choppa! I've always wanted to say that. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 My name's not Wade, it's... it's... @#!%. @#$%&$# Connecticut! Every damn time! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 We sort of glazed over something here...this life seed, it'll kill him? Are we talking about killing Warren? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Look, for what it's worth, I always hated you. You are a boring, two-dimensional, self-serious relic from the '70s. Oh, and Chuck Brownson called-- he wants everything he ever did back. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 So you know now. He's an evil man. Petting-a-white-cat evil. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 My constipated clown-style will always beat your stinky diaper-style. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hey... Kid... Dogpool was... well, he was a good dog. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 All that peace I felt is gone. I ruin it because I can. Because it's easy. I've fought for Preston. For the Camachos. I've fought for my friends. I've tried to make these people not just safe, but happy. I didn't go looking for these people. They walked into my life. And now the imbalance is restored. I've fought for the happiness of everyone around me. I've been willing to die for that happiness. I now realize I've never experienced happiness. I put on a good show... I simply don't know the meaning of the word... And I never will. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Since you're only slightly less sexy than me, you're obviously in charge of this Motley Crew-- Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 If you're not Black Cat, then I'm done. But first -- The Olsen Twins: Good? Evil? Or part of the elaborate C.I.A. plot? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 "Let's Play." "Game Over." You've got more corn in your one-liners than I have in my poop after the county fair! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Me? I'm Deadpool, "The Merc with a Mouth." Good shots and bad jokes--that's me. You're Wolverine, the berserker wildman of the woods. You're the best at what you do and what you do isn't pretty. Now, that means you kill people, right? Right? That's you. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 So! Logan -- Wolverine -- Weapon letter-x-or-is-it-number-ten?! You have returned to resume our endless battle! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Nobody steals my girl and gets away with it. Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Hulkpool love it when a plan come together! Him and Bob go back in time...to kill Deadpool dead!!! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 To me, my guns! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 What's goin' on here, woman? Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Tell 'em time and time again -- keep your mouth shut -- but women, you know? They-just-don't-listen! Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
Quote1 ...so, a guys goes to a doctor and says -- "Doctor, it hurts when I do" -- "this!" Quote2
--Wade Wilson (Earth-616)

Conversations with Wade Wilson (Earth-616)

Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
My mother's dead.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Dead of Embarrassment because her son went to the barber to get his palms shaved after he shot webbing all over her couch.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Your mother is so ugly that a Skrull tried to copy her during the invasion and died...of ugly.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Your mother's so stupid she tried to get bailout money so she could afford to pay attention.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Your mother's so stupid she thinks Cheerios are donut seeds.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Your mother's so fat, Hank Pym had to beat her up in the back of a Quinjet.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
And your mother's so ugly--she made this! (pulls off Deadpool's mask)
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Foul! Foul!!! That was low. Really low. You leave me no choice...but to hit you the mutha of all yo' mutha jokes! Yo' Mamma-Geddon. I busted this one out in the fourth grade. Reduced a gym teacher...a Marine...into a quivering mess of jelly. He never taught again. The second time. In eighth. A girl's pancreas ruptured. She never taught to begin with. And now she can't eat sugar either. I spent the rest of my life refining this crack...Hand-crafting each word...Distilling it into the single most devastating diss ever uttered. I sold it to the Mossad Training Corps...Though I admit, it doesn't work the same in Hebrew. People just bite off their own tongues. But in English. The three people that heard it were so shattered they all died within twenty-four hours...Dehydration from crying. That's a lot of tears, bro.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Bring it, Wade.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Your mama--BDEET! BDEET! Ahhhh. That's a wrap. Man, I can't believe I almost hit you with the Yo' Mamma-Geddon.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Wait, what?!
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man #611
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
SHUT UP!
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Deadpool Team-Up Vol 1 891 0001
Deadpool's Inner Voice
Being schizophrenic. He only. Hypnotized. One of me.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
But I'm the one who won't fail!
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Deadpool! Snap out of it.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Deadpool Team-Up Vol 1 891 0001
Deadpool's Inner Voice
Can't stop myself.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Ugh. This must be what Lindsay Lohan feels like. Only I've got better aim.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Yikes! Maybe there's some sort of release word. Constantinople? Twinkies? Ryan Reynolds?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Hng!
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Ryan Reynolds? Seriously?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
What's our plan?
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
I guess we should find a way to get those goggles off of him.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Hey, here's an idea. How about I kill you?
Conversation Tail
Avenging Spider-Man #13
Jack Hammer (Earth-616) from Deadpool Vol 2 23 001
Weasel
What happened to Agent X-- Oh. Oh... You spelled out "Hi, Weasel" with his intestines.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
I knew you'd peek.
Conversation Tail
Cable & Deadpool #12
Samuel Guthrie (Earth-616)
Cannonball
...if even Spider-Man could be corrupted...
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Hey don't give that guy too much credit. He was gonna suck the marrow out of my bones.
Conversation Tail
Cable & Deadpool #15
Nathan Summers (Earth-616)
Cable
For hundreds of years, mutants fought for equality, humans for survival of their species. Hundreds more as the last vestiges of humanity fought us for freedom. Hundreds more as mutants fought each other...
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
But what for?
Conversation Tail
Nathan Summers (Earth-616)
Cable
for equality... for survival... for freedom...
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Sounds like an elephant walk.
Conversation Tail
Nathan Summers (Earth-616)
Cable
The snake eating it's own tail.
Conversation Tail
Cable & Deadpool #19
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Oh Spider-Man! What a relief. I was hoping Harry Hausen or something. Okay. Better.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
You should be scared of me, Deadpool.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
But you were so adorable in your movies, Tobey Maguire-teary doe-eyes, disheveled hope and that sweet lisp...
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
You're nuts! You're also lucky I caught that guy you flung off the bridge!
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Ha! Absolution! "Officer, I knew Spider-Man was there to catch the innocent hack-sack so I threw him as a distraction!"
Conversation Tail
Cable & Deadpool #24
John Watkins III (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 29 001
Citizen V
This is absurd! You idiot! I want Cable in power--why are we still hitting each other?
Conversation Tail
John Watkins III (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 29 001
Citizen V
Well?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
I don't know how to answer you!
Conversation Tail
John Watkins III (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 29 001
Citizen V
So you just keep fighting?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
I was hoping you'd forget you asked the question!
Conversation Tail
John Watkins III (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 29 001
Citizen V
Enough, then. I'm done.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Hah! Gotcha then! I win. Okay. What did I just win?
Conversation Tail
Cable & Deadpool #29
Nathan Summers (Earth-616)
Cable
Wade... only thing that can help me is your blood. Only thing that can help you is mine
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
We're not gonna haveta kiss or anythin'... are we?
Conversation Tail
Cable & Deadpool #3
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
See how you like it when I smack you with an interstitial distorter that will temporarily phase your brain into Dimension X!
Conversation Tail
Matthew Murdock (Earth-616)
Daredevil
This is an iPod with a piece of masking tape attached to it.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
It is. Ah, but for a second there, you were really worried!
Conversation Tail
Matthew Murdock (Earth-616)
Daredevil
Idiot. Why are you doing this? I thought Cable was on our side?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Oh, and like I'm attached to Cable like a baby to its mother's teat? Is that what you're saying?
Conversation Tail
Matthew Murdock (Earth-616)
Daredevil
Lord, no...
Conversation Tail
Cable & Deadpool #31
Cable 15
Cable
Wade...
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Do not say thank you. Do not say you're proud of me. Do not say good-bye.
Conversation Tail
Cable 15
Cable
Your zipper is down. (Deadpool looks down.) Made you look.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
You are so immature...
Conversation Tail
Cable & Deadpool #42
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Come to think of it, isn't the whole alien underoos thing your schtick?
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
It's a race of alien symiotes--they bond to a host like chest hair to David Hasslefoff.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
See, even your pithy references have been time-twisted! I'm so confused!
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
You're confused? What are you babbling about?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Forget it, okay. Symbiotic-covered dinosaur. What kinda powers we looking at here?
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Super-speed. Strength. Agility. Indestructibility. Fire bothers them. Sonics really ring their bell.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deapool
Sonics? We could make them listen to the Jonas Brothers. That's pretty painful. Prob'ly the ASPCA would get on my case if I did that...
Conversation Tail
Cable & Deadpool #50
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Was that a dive, or was that a dive?!
Conversation Tail
Matthew Murdock (Earth-616)
Daredevil
If so--consider me the East German judge!
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Plagiarist! Oblique, obscure, irreverent and irrelevent references are my trademarked shtick!
Conversation Tail
Matthew Murdock (Earth-616)
Daredevil
Only if they're properly published in the federal register.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable & Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Poltroon! Pedant! you try to trump Deadpool on a legal technicality? <And a pretty good one, too.>
Conversation Tail
Contest of Champions II #4
DSP 3 p14 Siryn
Siryn
Can ye just shut up for one moment!?!
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
...at this point, anything's possible...
Conversation Tail
Deadpool: Sins of the Past #3
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Shorty, put this through the tactical computer. How long can we last in a firefight against all those ships?
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Merc with a Mouth Vol 1 2 Wade Wilson (Earth-2149)
Headpool
.03 seconds.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Signal our surrender.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Corps #3
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Sorry for the delay. I was kissing my girlfriend goodbye. You know how it is with girlfriends. I sure hope I don't get obliterated on this mission, so I can see my girlfriend again. I have a girlfriend.
Conversation Tail
Prelude to Deadpool Corps Vol 1 2 page 20 Wade Wilson (Earth-10330)
Kidpool
Congratulations on your cooties.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Corps #5
Bullseye 002
Bullseye
Deadpoool, Deadpool, Deadpool...how long has it been?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Issue sixteen, Greece...What's up, Bullseye?
Conversation Tail
Deadpool #28
Uncanny X-Men Vol 1 514 page 00 - Scott Summers (Earth-616) - B
Cyclops
I don't know what to say...
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
No thanks necessary...
Conversation Tail
Uncanny X-Men Vol 1 514 page 00 - Scott Summers (Earth-616) - B
Cyclops
...other than "get the hell out of here and don't come back."
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 2 #18
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
His name is Hit-Monkey. He's a hitman. Who's a monkey. You don't believe me.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Of course I don't.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 2 #19
Ghost Rider Vol 5 1 Textless
Ghost Rider
Look into my eyes, Wade Wilson...and feel the pain of penance long overdue.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
What...the #$%& are you talkin' about?!
Conversation Tail
Ghost Rider Vol 5 1 Textless
Ghost Rider
My penance stare will reveal all of your past sins to you. You will see through the eyes of those you have wronged, those you have destroyed.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Heh...so, like a highlight reel?
Conversation Tail
Ghost Rider Vol 5 1 Textless
Ghost Rider
Yes.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Well, what're you waitin' for? Roll the #$&%#& tape.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 2 #26
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Is that my apology?!
Conversation Tail
James Howlett (Earth-616) from Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 4 1 0001
Wolverine
It's as close as yer gonna get.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Deadpool shoots Wolverine
Okay. Well, this is as close as I'm gonna get to accept it.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 2 #51

Taskmaster
You want me to do... what?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Train me.
Conversation Tail

Taskmaster
Train you to...
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
To do what I do.
Conversation Tail

Taskmaster
That doesn't make any sense
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Uh, hello? Look who you're talkin' to!
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 2 #56
Villains for Hire Vol 1 3 Textless
Tiger Shark
Dammit! I suck with this thing!
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Yeah, you do. And...you have dolphin teeth.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 2 #6
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
The.. The s-serum...
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 2 45 Textless
Evil Deadpool
Didn't work
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 2 #63
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
No way! You know how much I could get for a real Iron Man breast plate on eBay? Let's just use the time to come up with more jokes about Osborn's hair, okay?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Deadpool Team-Up Vol 1 891 0001
Deadpool's inner voice
It looks like it was grown in a Petri dish.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Haw! Nice one! His hairline isn't receding-- it's running away from his face!
Conversation Tail
New Avengers Vol 2 18 Textless
Norman Osborn
Who the hell is he talking to..?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
That boy's got a doo-doo head!
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 2 #8
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Wade
They're gonna be really pissed off.
Conversation Tail
Emily Preston (Earth-616) from Deadpool Vol 3 1 001
Preston
Good.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #16
Captain America Vol 4 27 Textless
Captain America
Your camp has fallen. I urge you to surrender. You don't need to die tonight.
Conversation Tail
James Howlett (Earth-616) from Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 4 1 0001
Wolverine
I urge you not to listen to Cap and keep fightin'!
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Uh, I haven't prepared any remarks, so why don't you just do what your heart tells you?
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #17
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Hey, how anatomically correct are Life Model Decoys?
Conversation Tail
Emily Preston (Earth-616) from Deadpool Vol 3 1 001
Preston
What? Why would you even think that?
Conversation Tail
Emily Preston (Earth-616) from Deadpool Vol 3 1 001
Preston
...
Conversation Tail
Emily Preston (Earth-616) from Deadpool Vol 3 1 001
Preston
Crap. Everything better be right where it was.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #21
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Preston is pissed at you.
Conversation Tail
Scott Adsit (Earth-616) from Deadpool Vol 3 22 001
Agent Adsit
My arm is broken.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Her neck was snapped.
Conversation Tail
Scott Adsit (Earth-616) from Deadpool Vol 3 22 001
Agent Adsit
It's not the same. I bet her neck didn't hurt after she died.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #22
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
You impress me, Fury. I didn't think you would want to stage Hitler's body like he was another Black Dahlia to cover our tracks.
Conversation Tail
Nick Fury (Earth-616) Dark List variant
Nick Fury
...I'm not thinking that, you freak.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #26
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
I feel nervous.
Conversation Tail
Shiklah (Earth-616) 001
Shiklah
Are you happy?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Yes, that's why I feel nervous. I don't get too many happy endings. That's not a euphemismmph! For one night, everything in the world was perfect.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #27
Joshua Ulter (Earth-616) from Deadpool Vol 3 31 001
Joshua Utler
I promised my brother I would protect Ellie from you... but I realized he was the bigger threat to her. I kept her safe from this #$%& world... now that's your job. I hope my brother was wrong about you. On your life, do you promise to...
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
On my life, I'll protect her.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #32
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Sorry about Logan.
Conversation Tail
Ororo Munroe (Earth-616) from Storm Vol 2 1 0001
Ororo Munroe
What about him?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Whoops, spoilers! Nevermind. Eh. He'll be back.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #35
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from X-Men Battle of the Atom Vol 1 1 cover
Deadpool
Use your ears and your brain for just a moment. You think I killed your family. I did not. I don't know why I care so much that you believe me, but I do. Actually, I do know why I want you to believe me. We're a lot alike. They poked us, they prodded us, and they turned us into animals for their own designs. I know how confusing it is to live with the garbage they put in your head. Everything changed for me after I made the realization that I wasn't the animal. The doctors that made us are the animals.
Conversation Tail
Omega Red (Omega Clan) (Earth-616)
Omega Red
Why... Why are you trying to help me?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from X-Men Battle of the Atom Vol 1 1 cover
Deadpool
Because I had help, too. I was made to realize that we're not responsible for the power they gave us, but we damn well better be responsible for how we use it. I used it to spend my life making innocent people pay for what was done to me. I didn't want to live like that anymore.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #44
Ronald Reagan (Earth-616)
Ronald Reagan zombie
In my day we had handsome heroes like Mr. Fantastic, and lady She-Hulk. Whatever happened to matinee idols like Captain Marvel?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
He got cancer so I stopped reading his book. But I started again now that he's a super-hot chick.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool Vol 3 #5
Cletus Kasady (Earth-616) from Web of Spider-Man Vol 1 101 0001
Carnage
Who the hell do you think you are?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Me? I'm Deadpool... The merc with the purdy mouth.
Conversation Tail
Deadpool vs. Carnage #1
Cletus Kasady (Earth-616) from Web of Spider-Man Vol 1 101 0001
Carnage
Let's do this thing! Carnage vs. Deadpool! Round two!
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
I think you mean "Deadpool vs. Carnage."
Conversation Tail
Deadpool vs. Carnage #2
Clinton Barton (Earth-616) from Avengers Academy Vol 1 38
Hawkeye
Ow. Dammit! My head is killing me. Be more careful, not everyone has non-stop regeneration!
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Didn't you get sucked into a jet engine one time?
Conversation Tail
Clinton Barton (Earth-616) from Avengers Academy Vol 1 38
Hawkeye
That was totally different!
Conversation Tail
Hawkeye vs. Deadpool #1
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Aw, don't go away mad! I'm learning to be a hero! Teach me Obi-Wan Rand! Show me the ways of the farce!
Conversation Tail
Luke Cage (Earth-616) from Hero for Hire Vol 1 14 0001
Luke Cage
I'm blaming you, Fist. Hammond hired this fool t'get back at you for not telling him about K'un Lun and now we all have to pay!
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Luke! Luke! Trust your feelings, Luke! Don't be seduced by the dark side!
Conversation Tail
Heroes for Hire #10
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
I've never felt so good in my life. You did that for me.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Feeling's mutual. And P.S., I didn't do much. You just finally got it through your thick skull... you're a good guy. Good guys stick together. Nothing's gonna change that.
Conversation Tail
Spider-Man/Deadpool #9
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
I feel nervous.
Conversation Tail
Shiklah (Earth-616) 001
Shiklah
Are you happy?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Yes, that's why I feel nervous. I don't get too many happy endings. That's not a euphemismmph! For one night, everything in the world was perfect.
Conversation Tail
True Believers: The Wedding of Deadpool #1
Rogue (Anna Marie) (Earth-616) from Uncanny Avengers Vol 3 9 001
Rogue
First Johnny flies away, and then Quicksilver runs off. Rogers asked me to quarterback this squad. Would they treat him like this? Is it 'cause I'm a woman?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from X-Men Battle of the Atom Vol 1 1 cover
Deadpool
Let's not jump to any conclusions. Maybe it's because you're a mutant?
Conversation Tail
Rogue (Anna Marie) (Earth-616) from Uncanny Avengers Vol 3 9 001
Rogue
HA!
Conversation Tail
Jericho Drumm (Earth-616) from Uncanny Avengers Vol 2 5 001
Doctor Voodoo
Not helping, Deadpool.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from X-Men Battle of the Atom Vol 1 1 cover
Deadpool
That's my mutant power -- not helping.
Conversation Tail
Uncanny Avengers Vol 3 #2
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Wolverine Road to Hell Vol 1 1 0001
Deadpool
I might have missed you.
Conversation Tail
Charlie Cluster-7 (Earth-616)
Fantomex
I might have missed you as well. But I was dead and couldn't. But I might have if I could.
Conversation Tail
Uncanny X-Force #35
James Howlett (Earth-616) from Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 4 1 0001
Wolverine
Heh Heh Heh.
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Ah, crap. I really needed those.
Conversation Tail
Wolverine: Origins #23
James Howlett (Earth-616) from Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe Vol 4 1 0001
Wolverine
Howdy 'pool. How's it hangin'?
Conversation Tail
Wade Wilson (Earth-616) from Cable &amp; Deadpool Vol 1 9 0001
Deadpool
Great. So now you're a comedian.
Conversation Tail
Wolverine Annual Vol 2 #1999