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List of all notable quotes by or about John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).
(Please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source. Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.)
Appearances · Handbook Appearances · Minor Appearances · Mentions · Handbook Mentions · Invocations · Items · Quotes · Images · Gallery · Victims
Quote1 Don't make me laugh! If there really is a giant lizard down south, Spider-Man will never tackle him! He'd rather stay here, fighting two-bit hoods and making a rep for himself! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 6
Quote1 Now this is more like it, Parker!! Exclusive pictures of the Chameleon! No one even knew he was back in this country! You deserve a big bonus for this! Miss Brant -- open the safe and give Parker one of my own personal bars of milk chocolate! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 15
Quote1 My secret is safe...for now! But what supreme irony! I was saved from a menace whom I myself helped to create... saved by the one he was created to destroy! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 20
Quote1 When the news of my brilliant triumph is made public, I'll probably be asked to join the Avengers! But, I'll prove my modesty by declining! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 25
Quote1 Foswell? He was just a cog in the wheel! I was the master planner! The entire capture of the Crime-Master took place under my personal direction! But my own natural modesty prevents me from bragging about it! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 27
Quote1 The trouble with me is I'm too soft-hearted! I'm always doing favors for everyone! I'm just a big bundle of good-natured jelly! But no one ever appreciates it! It just doesn't pay to be a nice guy! The trouble with me is--I'm too sweet! That reminds me! It's time I was roasting Spider-Man's hide in an editorial again! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 41
Quote1 That sinks it! The whole world is against me! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 45
Quote1 I don't know how...or why...he got involved with the Kingpin...! But there's one thing I do know...when Fred Foswell breathed his last...he died a hero! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 52
Quote1 Who needs proof?? Everybody knows he's a rotten low-down, no good killer! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 57
Quote1 The battle of the century is about to begin, right here near the Daily Bugle, and I don't have one %$!!?#$#!* photographer to cover it! How can this happen to a doll-boy like me?!! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 64
Quote1 We'll give the public something they can't glance at in between dog-food commercials. An in-depth look at the so-called Savage Land-- and the real lowdown on whatever it was that came crawling out of there. Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 103
Quote1 I expect photos from you Parker -- Great photos .. OR ELSE! Quote2
Marvel Team-Up Vol 1 27
Quote1 I'm going to -- ah -- Paris, Miss Brant. That's right -- Paris!. I could be gone for months. Until you hear from me again -- goodbye! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 142
Quote1 Oh Death -- Where is thy Sting? Quote2
Marvel Team-Up Vol 1 47
Quote1 Let them fight it out -- kill each other! Good Riddance is all I got to say! Quote2
Marvel Team-Up Vol 1 56
Quote1 Cap's a good man... But you remember what happened when movie stars started running for office. Quote2
Captain America Vol 1 250
Quote1 It's those blasted super-heroes, Robertson! Nothing like this ever happened before they came along! Quote2
Fantastic Four Vol 1 242
Quote1 Where the @&%# is Nose Norton? Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 233
Quote1 It never occurs to you that I don't have to run any of the retractions that I've run through the years. Easies for you to think of me as a journalist without a heart. Quote2
Web of Spider-Man Vol 1 13
Quote1 I am surrounded by idiots, incompetents and assassins. Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 279
Quote1 Captain, please find my boy. Quote2
Captain America Vol 1 402
Quote1 Don't say another word, my boy! I know what young love's like! I'm feeling so good, I'll not only give Miss Brant the night off, but I'll get you into the event of the season-- --my latest anti-Spider-Man lecture! Bring your camera -- you can take pictures for our coverage of the event, and I'll deduct the price of the tickets from your check! Quote2
Untold Tales of Spider-Man Vol 1 4
Quote1 That's what you say! For all I know, you killed the real Spider-Man and took his place! Now you're trying to steal the evidence of your crime! Quote2
Sensational Spider-Man Vol 1 2
Quote1 Truth! You're going to tell me about the truth? Spider-Man is nothing more than a costumed menace and you... Quote2
Peter Parker: Spider-Man Vol 1 3
Quote1  -- the mask. It would be so easy. After all this time. I'd know... Quote2
Peter Parker: Spider-Man Vol 1 10
Quote1  --Why?-- --Why?-- --Why weren't you there that day? The one day that mattered most? Those pictures I could've used! Quote2
Spider-Man: Death and Destiny Vol 1 1
Quote1 I'll show you! If you ever threaten my family again, you miserable weasel... ...today is going to seem like the best day of your life! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 2 21
Quote1 I get down on my hands and knees and I pray for the day that you screw up somewhere because my paper will be so far up your nose that -- that -- that -- arrgghhh! I hate you! Quote2
Alias Vol 1 10
Quote1 All you gotta do is take off the mask -- you hear me, you little freak? Take if off, an' I change "implicated" to "exonerated"! Quote2
Peter Parker: Spider-Man Vol 1 45
Quote1 No one's a hero, doc. Especially not me. Quote2
Spider-Man's Tangled Web Vol 1 20
Quote1 Scum is scum and costumed scum is costumed scum. But I need to sell papers. Quote2
The Pulse Vol 1 1
Quote1 Who the #*&% are the Young Avengers? Quote2
Young Avengers Vol 1 1
Quote1 You no-good, wall-crawling misfit -- get off my building! Quote2
Spider-Man Human Torch Vol 1 3
Quote1 There's an old saying. Enemies can kill you, but only your friends can hurt you. Spider-Man was a thorn in my side. He ticked me off, embarrassed me, infuriated me... but it's Peter who has finally succeeded in hurting me. And there is a price for that, Robbie. There is one hell of a price for that. Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 533
Quote1 You're fired, Robertson. Get the hell out of my building. And close the door. Quote2
Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man Vol 1 21
Quote1 Comic books? Do they still publish that trash? It can rot your mind. Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 552
Quote1 Cigars? You brought me cigars? Bless you, Spider-Man, I always knew you weren't all bad. Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 554
Quote1 Can't breathe. Mustn't die...before Spider-Man...mustn't die...before Spider-Man... Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 592
Quote1 Watch him like a hawk. He thought he kidnapped me today-- --but he got it backwards. Excelsior! Quote2
Web of Spider-Man Vol 2 2
Quote1 Oh. Of course. "Heroic." My middle name. You're right. I should always look heroic. The people of New York deserve nothing less. Quote2
Peter Parker Vol 1 3
Quote1 Officer Cooper. Chief Pratchett. How I envy you. You're witnessing the dawn of a golden age. Me. Running the city. Quote2
Superior Spider-Man Vol 1 3
Quote1 Turn on the TV. Go online. Pick up a newspaper. We hate them. We love them. We worship them. We condemn them. Hell, maybe we're the ones who elevate them. Maybe we force them to live like this because we need them to live like this. Maybe the only reason they exist is because we can't solve our own problems. Quote2
Civil War II: Choosing Sides Vol 1 3
Quote1 Damn it, Parker, this is my father! What if it was your father? Or your Uncle Ben? Would you gamble with their lives like this? Would you? Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 19
Quote1 ...this place. It's so... bleak. Is this... is this really what a world without Spider-Man would be like? Have I really been fighting the wrong fight all these years? Quote2
Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 304
Quote1 It's about time someone points out how much good I've done for this city. Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 5 11
Quote1 You're nothing but a crook. Enjoy you're moment of power, because I can promise you -- it won't last. When you fall, he'll be the one standing over you. And hopefully I'll be there to have a good laugh at your expense. Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 5 13
Quote1 Hey I didn't throw myself! It was the astronaut-murdering psycho over there! Quote2
Punisher Annual Vol 4 1
Quote1 I did it! J. Jonah Jameson saves the day! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 5 38
Quote1 Why are these glorified beekeepers attacking my prestigious offices. Quote2
Spider-Bot Infinity Comic Vol 1 6
Quote1 ...this place. It's so... bleak. Is this... is this really what a world without Spider-Man would be like? Have I really been fighting the wrong fight all these years? Quote2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001
Jennie Sheldon
Quote1 Hey, do you remember what you used to tell my dad when you came over our house for dinner? Quote2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Knights Spider-Man Vol 1 4 001
John Jonah Jameson
Quote1 At my age, I can't remember what I had for breakfast. Quote2
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001
Jennie Sheldon
Quote1 You said, "Fighting for the truth isn't our job, it's our calling." Quote2
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616)
Flash ThompsonQuote1 Why don'tcha pick on the Human Torch for a while?? Or those nutty X-Men?? Quote2
J. Jonah JamesonQuote1 Why don't you go play in traffic?! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 24
J.J.JamesonQuote1 If you ask me, Osborn's been working too hard. He needs a good vacation. Quote2
George Stacy (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 66
George Stacy
Quote1 I think it's more than that, Jameson. He should seek psychiatric help! Quote2
J.J.JamesonQuote1 Balderdash! You'd never get me to a headshrinker! Quote2
George Stacy (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 66
George Stacy
Quote1 Too bad. Quote2
J.J.JamesonQuote1 What's that? Quote2
George Stacy (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 66
George Stacy
Quote1 Nothing. Quote2
Spectacular Spider-Man Magazine Vol 1 2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1 001
J. Jonah Jameson
Quote1 What'll it take? Quote2
Peter Parker (Earth-616) from Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1 001
Peter Parker
Quote1 Money. Quote2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1 001
J. Jonah Jameson
Quote1 Never. Quote2
Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1
House of X Vol 1 1 Character Decades Variant Textless
Cyclops
Quote1 We are returning your retainer, Mr. Jameson. X-Factor cannot accept your assignment. Quote2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 155 001
J. Jonah Jameson
Quote1 Why not? Quote2
House of X Vol 1 1 Character Decades Variant Textless
Cyclops
Quote1 After extensive research, we can only conclude that Spider-Man is not a mutant. Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 282
RobertsonQuote1 As real as you or me, J.J.J.; Spider-Man without his mask and lying on a hospital Gurney. What do you think? Quote2
J.J.J.Quote1 I think that's a familiar face... Quote2
Marvel Knights: Spider-Man Vol 1 4
Spider-ManQuote1 J. Jonah Jameson? The Sensational Spider-Mayor?! Coming up with too many quips! Brain overloading! Quote2
J. Jonah JamesonQuote1 Shut up! Quote2
Spider-ManQuote1 Aw, c'mon! When will I ever get the chance to-- Quote2
J. Jonah JamesonQuote1 Not another word! Quote2
Spider-ManQuote1 How 'bout a quick time out? I'll get a spare costume. Cut out a hole for a moustache-- Quote2
J. Jonah JamesonQuote1 I mean it! Quote2
Spider-ManQuote1 "Jolly Jonah," my butt. You're no fun at all. Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 670
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Todd Macfarlane (Trading Cards) 0001
J. Jonah Jameson
Quote1 Spider-Man?! I knew you had something to do with -- Actually, you know what? Never mind. Quote2
Peter Parker (Earth-616) from New Avengers Vol 2 2 Cover 0001
Spider-Man
Quote1 What were you going to say? Quote2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Todd Macfarlane (Trading Cards) 0001
J. Jonah Jameson
Quote1 Never mind! Quote2
Peter Parker (Earth-616) from New Avengers Vol 2 2 Cover 0001
Spider-Man
Quote1 That you knew I had something to do with a subterranean civil war? Is that what you were going to say? Quote2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Todd Macfarlane (Trading Cards) 0001
J. Jonah Jameson
Quote1 I stopped myself -- Just drop it! Quote2
Avenging Spider-Man Vol 1 2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 155 001
John Jonah Jameson
Quote1 Dear readers, a great injustice is at hand! We have forsaken REAL heroes in favor of freaks! While America's true titans walk amongst us in the form of firemen, soldiers fighting on the front lines, and astronauts exploring the final frontier... ...instead we choose to idolize inhuman monsters! Masked menaces like this so-called sensational Spider-Man! When I'm through with this article, Spider-Man will be run out of town! Mark my words, we are all being drawn into his web... ...especially our impressionable youngsters! Quote2
Clayton Cole (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 1.3 (cover)
Clash
Quote1 I'm ready. Oh, man... can't believe I'm gonna do this! Quote2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 155 001
John Jonah Jameson
Quote1 Just imagine what would happen if any children out there tried to imitate his fantastic feats! I tell you it's only a matter of time! Quote2
Clayton Cole (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 1.3 (cover)
Clash
Quote1 The world might not know Clayton Cole, but soon everyone's gonna take notice of... Clash! Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 1.1
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001
Jennie Sheldon
Quote1 Hey, do you remember what you used to tell my dad when you came over our house for dinner? Quote2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Knights Spider-Man Vol 1 4 001
John Jonah Jameson
Quote1 At my age, I can't remember what I had for breakfast. Quote2
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001
Jennie Sheldon
Quote1 You said, "Fighting for the truth isn't our job, it's our calling." Quote2
Secret Empire: Brave New World Vol 1 3
Norman Osborn (Earth-616) from Marvel Legends (Trading Cards) 0002
Green Goblin
Quote1 His girl off the bridge. For years I couldn't... remember. The itch I could never scratch. But now... of course. Peter Parker is Spider-Man! The greatest weapon I ever had against the wall-crawler! It's mine again! And I owe it all to you, old friend... J. Jonah Jameson! Quote2
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Knights Spider-Man Vol 1 4 001
J. Jonah Jameson
Quote1 What have I done? Quote2
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 797
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Knights Spider-Man Vol 1 4 001
J. Jonah Jameson
Quote1 It'll be interesting being protected by a girl, huh? Quote2
Silk Vol 3 2 The Comic Mint Exclusive Variant Textless
Silk
Quote1 Please be quiet and get on the train. Quote2
Silk Vol 3 1

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