List of all notable quotes by or about John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).
(Please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source. Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.)
(Please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source. Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.)
Don't make me laugh! If there really is a giant lizard down south, Spider-Man will never tackle him! He'd rather stay here, fighting two-bit hoods and making a rep for himself!
Now this is more like it, Parker!! Exclusive pictures of the Chameleon! No one even knew he was back in this country! You deserve a big bonus for this! Miss Brant -- open the safe and give Parker one of my own personal bars of milk chocolate!
My secret is safe...for now! But what supreme irony! I was saved from a menace whom I myself helped to create... saved by the one he was created to destroy!
When the news of my brilliant triumph is made public, I'll probably be asked to join the Avengers! But, I'll prove my modesty by declining!
Foswell? He was just a cog in the wheel! I was the master planner! The entire capture of the Crime-Master took place under my personal direction! But my own natural modesty prevents me from bragging about it!
The trouble with me is I'm too soft-hearted! I'm always doing favors for everyone! I'm just a big bundle of good-natured jelly! But no one ever appreciates it! It just doesn't pay to be a nice guy! The trouble with me is--I'm too sweet! That reminds me! It's time I was roasting Spider-Man's hide in an editorial again!
I don't know how...or why...he got involved with the Kingpin...! But there's one thing I do know...when Fred Foswell breathed his last...he died a hero!
The battle of the century is about to begin, right here near the Daily Bugle, and I don't have one %$!!?#$#!* photographer to cover it! How can this happen to a doll-boy like me?!!
We'll give the public something they can't glance at in between dog-food commercials. An in-depth look at the so-called Savage Land-- and the real lowdown on whatever it was that came crawling out of there.
I'm going to -- ah -- Paris, Miss Brant. That's right -- Paris!. I could be gone for months. Until you hear from me again -- goodbye!
It never occurs to you that I don't have to run any of the retractions that I've run through the years. Easies for you to think of me as a journalist without a heart.
Don't say another word, my boy! I know what young love's like! I'm feeling so good, I'll not only give Miss Brant the night off, but I'll get you into the event of the season-- --my latest anti-Spider-Man lecture! Bring your camera -- you can take pictures for our coverage of the event, and I'll deduct the price of the tickets from your check!
That's what you say! For all I know, you killed the real Spider-Man and took his place! Now you're trying to steal the evidence of your crime!
Truth! You're going to tell me about the truth? Spider-Man is nothing more than a costumed menace and you...
--Why?-- --Why?-- --Why weren't you there that day? The one day that mattered most? Those pictures I could've used!
I'll show you! If you ever threaten my family again, you miserable weasel... ...today is going to seem like the best day of your life!
I get down on my hands and knees and I pray for the day that you screw up somewhere because my paper will be so far up your nose that -- that -- that -- arrgghhh! I hate you!
All you gotta do is take off the mask -- you hear me, you little freak? Take if off, an' I change "implicated" to "exonerated"!
There's an old saying. Enemies can kill you, but only your friends can hurt you. Spider-Man was a thorn in my side. He ticked me off, embarrassed me, infuriated me... but it's Peter who has finally succeeded in hurting me. And there is a price for that, Robbie. There is one hell of a price for that.
Oh. Of course. "Heroic." My middle name. You're right. I should always look heroic. The people of New York deserve nothing less.
Officer Cooper. Chief Pratchett. How I envy you. You're witnessing the dawn of a golden age. Me. Running the city.
Turn on the TV. Go online. Pick up a newspaper. We hate them. We love them. We worship them. We condemn them. Hell, maybe we're the ones who elevate them. Maybe we force them to live like this because we need them to live like this. Maybe the only reason they exist is because we can't solve our own problems.
Damn it, Parker, this is my father! What if it was your father? Or your Uncle Ben? Would you gamble with their lives like this? Would you?
...this place. It's so... bleak. Is this... is this really what a world without Spider-Man would be like? Have I really been fighting the wrong fight all these years?
You're nothing but a crook. Enjoy you're moment of power, because I can promise you -- it won't last. When you fall, he'll be the one standing over you. And hopefully I'll be there to have a good laugh at your expense.
...this place. It's so... bleak. Is this... is this really what a world without Spider-Man would be like? Have I really been fighting the wrong fight all these years?
Jennie Sheldon | Hey, do you remember what you used to tell my dad when you came over our house for dinner? |
John Jonah Jameson | At my age, I can't remember what I had for breakfast. |
Jennie Sheldon | You said, "Fighting for the truth isn't our job, it's our calling." |
Flash Thompson | Why don'tcha pick on the Human Torch for a while?? Or those nutty X-Men?? |
J. Jonah Jameson | Why don't you go play in traffic?! |
J.J.Jameson | If you ask me, Osborn's been working too hard. He needs a good vacation. |
George Stacy | I think it's more than that, Jameson. He should seek psychiatric help! |
J.J.Jameson | Balderdash! You'd never get me to a headshrinker! |
George Stacy | Too bad. |
J.J.Jameson | What's that? |
George Stacy | Nothing. |
J. Jonah Jameson | What'll it take? |
Peter Parker | Money. |
J. Jonah Jameson | Never. |
Cyclops | We are returning your retainer, Mr. Jameson. X-Factor cannot accept your assignment. |
J. Jonah Jameson | Why not? |
Cyclops | After extensive research, we can only conclude that Spider-Man is not a mutant. |
Robertson | As real as you or me, J.J.J.; Spider-Man without his mask and lying on a hospital Gurney. What do you think? |
J.J.J. | I think that's a familiar face... |
Spider-Man | J. Jonah Jameson? The Sensational Spider-Mayor?! Coming up with too many quips! Brain overloading! |
J. Jonah Jameson | Shut up! |
Spider-Man | Aw, c'mon! When will I ever get the chance to-- |
J. Jonah Jameson | Not another word! |
Spider-Man | How 'bout a quick time out? I'll get a spare costume. Cut out a hole for a moustache-- |
J. Jonah Jameson | I mean it! |
Spider-Man | "Jolly Jonah," my butt. You're no fun at all. |
J. Jonah Jameson | Spider-Man?! I knew you had something to do with -- Actually, you know what? Never mind. |
Spider-Man | What were you going to say? |
J. Jonah Jameson | Never mind! |
Spider-Man | That you knew I had something to do with a subterranean civil war? Is that what you were going to say? |
J. Jonah Jameson | I stopped myself -- Just drop it! |
John Jonah Jameson | Dear readers, a great injustice is at hand! We have forsaken REAL heroes in favor of freaks! While America's true titans walk amongst us in the form of firemen, soldiers fighting on the front lines, and astronauts exploring the final frontier... ...instead we choose to idolize inhuman monsters! Masked menaces like this so-called sensational Spider-Man! When I'm through with this article, Spider-Man will be run out of town! Mark my words, we are all being drawn into his web... ...especially our impressionable youngsters! |
Clash | I'm ready. Oh, man... can't believe I'm gonna do this! |
John Jonah Jameson | Just imagine what would happen if any children out there tried to imitate his fantastic feats! I tell you it's only a matter of time! |
Clash | The world might not know Clayton Cole, but soon everyone's gonna take notice of... Clash! |
Jennie Sheldon | Hey, do you remember what you used to tell my dad when you came over our house for dinner? |
John Jonah Jameson | At my age, I can't remember what I had for breakfast. |
Jennie Sheldon | You said, "Fighting for the truth isn't our job, it's our calling." |
Green Goblin | His girl off the bridge. For years I couldn't... remember. The itch I could never scratch. But now... of course. Peter Parker is Spider-Man! The greatest weapon I ever had against the wall-crawler! It's mine again! And I owe it all to you, old friend... J. Jonah Jameson! |
J. Jonah Jameson | What have I done? |
J. Jonah Jameson | It'll be interesting being protected by a girl, huh? |
Silk | Please be quiet and get on the train. |
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- Sensational Spider-Man Vol 1 2
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- Peter Parker: Spider-Man Vol 1 10
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- Alias Vol 1 10
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- Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 592
- Web of Spider-Man Vol 2 2
- Peter Parker Vol 1 3
- Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 670
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- Superior Spider-Man Vol 1 3
- Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 1.1
- Civil War II: Choosing Sides Vol 1 3
- Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 19
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- Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 797
- Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man Vol 1 304
- Amazing Spider-Man Vol 5 11
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- Punisher Annual Vol 4 1
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- Silk Vol 3 1
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