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This page contains a listing of all notable quotes by or about John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616).

It may not be the definitive list, so please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source.
Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.

(This template will categorize articles that include it into Category:Quotes.)

Quotes by John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)

Quote1 I get down on my hands and knees and I pray for the day that you screw up somewhere because my paper will be so far up your nose that -- that -- that -- arrgghhh! I hate you! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Now this is more like it, Parker!! Exclusive pictures of the Chameleon! No one even knew he was back in this country! You deserve a big bonus for this! Miss Brant -- open the safe and give Parker one of my own personal bars of milk chocolate! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 My secret is safe...for now! But what supreme irony! I was saved from a menace whom I myself helped to create... saved by the one he was created to destroy! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Where the @&%# is Nose Norton? Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 When the news of my brilliant triumph is made public, I'll probably be asked to join the Avengers! But, I'll prove my modesty by declining! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Foswell? He was just a cog in the wheel! I was the master planner! The entire capture of the Crime-Master took place under my personal direction! But my own natural modesty prevents me from bragging about it! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I am surrounded by idiots, incompetents and assasins. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 The trouble with me is I'm too soft-hearted! I'm always doing favors for everyone! I'm just a big bundle of good-natured jelly! But no one ever appreciates it! It just doesn't pay to be a nice guy! The trouble with me is--I'm too sweet! That reminds me! It's time I was roasting Spider-Man's hide in an editorial again! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 That sinks it! The whole world is against me! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I don't know how...or why...he got involved with the Kingpin...! But there's one thing I do know...when Fred Foswell breathed his last...he died a hero! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 There's an old saying. Enemies can kill you, but only your friends can hurt you. Spider-Man was a thorn in my side. He ticked me off, embarrassed me, infuriated me... but it's Peter who has finally succeeded in hurting me. And there is a price for that, Robbie. There is one hell of a price for that. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Comic books? Do they still publish that trash? It can rot your mind. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Cigars? you brought me cigars? Bless you, Spider-Man, I always knew you weren't all bad. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Who needs proof?? Everybody knows he's a rotten low-down, no good killer! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Can't breathe. Mustn't die...before Spider-Man...mustn't die...before Spider-Man... Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Don't make me laugh! If there really is a giant lizard down south, Spider-Man will never tackle him! He'd rather stay here, fighting two-bit hoods and making a rep for himself! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness the sweet bonds of matrimony...between my father, John Jonah Jameson Senior, and his lovely bride, Ms. May Reilly Parker...two very young souls in two very old bodies... Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 The battle of the century is about to begin, right here near the Daily Bugle, and I don't have one %$!!?#$#!* photographer to cover it! How can this happen to a doll-boy like me?!! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 It was just a grudge fight, that's all! Personally, I can't stand anyone who carries a grudge! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I'll show you! If you ever threaten my family again, you miserable weasel... ...today is going to seem like the best day of your life! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Damn it, Parker, this is my father! What if it was your father? Or your Uncle Ben? Would you gamble with their lives like this? Would you? Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Peter Parker IS Spider-Man! Isn't he? Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Cap's a good man... But you remember what happened when movie stars started running for office. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Captain, please find my boy. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Turn on the TV. Go online. Pick up a newspaper. We hate them. We love them. We worship them. We condemn them. Hell, maybe we're the ones who elevate them. Maybe we force them to live like this because we need them to live like this. Maybe the only reason they exist is because we can't solve our own problems. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 It's those blasted super-heroes, Robertson! Nothing like this ever happened before they came along! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You're fired, Robertson. Get the hell out of my building. And close the door. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Shut up!!!! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I own up to my mistakes! I understand how they affect others! And I make them right! I've always thought you were a glory-hound. A clown. Possibly a criminal. Motivated by narcissism, selfishness and greed. But after the last few months, I know the truth. You're something far worse. You're a sociopath. A sadist who gains satisfaction from exerting power over others. Playing them like puppets. Because you can. You manipulate me! Blackmail me! And now you come here, claiming you never would have followed through? Urging me to fight? What kind of a monster are you?'' Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 I expect photos from you Parker -- Great photos .. OR ELSE! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Oh Death -- Where is thy Sting? Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Let them fight it out -- kill each other! Good Riddance is all I got to say! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 -- the mask. It would be so easy. After all this time. I'd know... Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Truth! You're going to tell me about the truth? Spider-Man is nothing more than a costumed menace and you... Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 All you gotta do is take off the mask -- you hear me, you little freak? Take if off, an' I change "implicated" to "exonerated"! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Oh. Of course. "Heroic." My middle name. You're right. I should always look heroic. The people of New York deserve nothing less. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 That's what you say! For all I know, you killed the real Spider-Man and took his place! Now you're trying to steal the evidence of your crime! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 No one's a hero, doc. Especially not me. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 --Why?-- --Why?-- --Why weren't you there that day? The one day that mattered most? Those pictures I could've used! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 You no-good, wall-crawling misfit -- get off my building! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Officer Cooper. Chief Pratchett. How I envy you. You're witnessing the dawn of a golden age. Me. Running the city. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Scum is scum and costumed scum is costumed scum. But I need to sell papers. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Don't say another word, my boy! I know what young love's like! I'm feeling so good, I'll not only give Miss Brant the night off, but I'll get you into the event of the season-- --my latest anti-Spider-Man lecture! Bring your camera -- you can take pictures for our coverage of the event, and I'll deduct the price of the tickets from your check! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Watch him like a hawk. He thought he kidnapped me today-- --but he got it backwards. Excelsior! Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 This is the single greatest web site I have ever seen. Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
Quote1 Who the #*&% are the Young Avengers? Quote2
--John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)

Conversations with John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)

Eugene Thompson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Extra! Vol 1 3 0001
Flash Thompson
Why don'tcha pick on the Human Torch for a while?? Or those nutty X-Men??
Conversation Tail
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J. Jonah Jameson
Why don't you go play in traffic?!
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Amazing Spider-Man #24
Uncanny X-Men Vol 1 514 page 00 - Scott Summers (Earth-616) - B
Cyclops
We are returning your retainer, Mr. Jameson. X-Factor cannot accept your assignment.
Conversation Tail
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 155 001
J. Jonah Jameson
Why not?
Conversation Tail
Uncanny X-Men Vol 1 514 page 00 - Scott Summers (Earth-616) - B
Cyclops
After extensive research, we can only conclude that Spider-Man is not a mutant.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man #282
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
J. Jonah Jameson? The Sensational Spider-Mayor?! Coming up with too many quips! Brain overloading!
Conversation Tail
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J. Jonah Jameson
Shut up!
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Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
Aw, c'mon! When will I ever get the chance to--
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John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J. Jonah Jameson
Not another word!
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Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
How 'bout a quick time out? I'll get a spare costume. Cut out a hole for a moustache--
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John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J. Jonah Jameson
I mean it!
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Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
"Jolly Jonah," my butt. You're no fun at all.
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Amazing Spider-Man #670
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 155 001
John Jonah Jameson
Dear readers, a great injustice is at hand! We have forsaken REAL heroes in favor of freaks! While America's true titans walk amongst us in the form of firemen, soldiers fighting on the front lines, and astronauts exploring the final frontier... ...instead we choose to idolize inhuman monsters! Masked menaces like this so-called sensational Spider-Man! When I'm through with this article, Spider-Man will be run out of town! Mark my words, we are all being drawn into his web... ...especially our impressionable youngsters!
Conversation Tail
Clayton Cole (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 1.3 (cover)
Clash
I'm ready. Oh, man... can't believe I'm gonna do this!
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John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 155 001
John Jonah Jameson
Just imagine what would happen if any children out there tried to imitate his fantastic feats! I tell you it's only a matter of time!
Conversation Tail
Clayton Cole (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 1.3 (cover)
Clash
The world might not know Clayton Cole, but soon everyone's gonna take notice of... Clash!
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 3 #1.1
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J. Jonah Jameson
Spider-Man?! I knew you had something to do with -- Actually, you know what? Never mind.
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
What were you going to say?
Conversation Tail
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J. Jonah Jameson
Never mind!
Conversation Tail
Amazing Spider-Man Vol 4 1.6 Textless
Spider-Man
That you knew I had something to do with a subterranean civil war? Is that what you were going to say?
Conversation Tail
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J. Jonah Jameson
I stopped myself -- Just drop it!
Conversation Tail
Avenging Spider-Man #2
Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1 007 JJJ
J. Jonah Jameson
What'll it take?
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Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1 007 Pete
Peter Parker
Money.
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Marvel Fanfare Vol 1 1 007 JJJ
J. Jonah Jameson
Never.
Conversation Tail
Marvel Fanfare #1
Joseph Robertson (Earth-616)
Robertson
As real as you or me, J.J.J.; Spider-Man without his mask and lying on a hospital Gurney. What do you think?
Conversation Tail
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J.J.J.
I think that's a familiar face...
Conversation Tail
Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #4
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001
Jennie Sheldon
Hey, do you remember what you used to tell my dad when you came over our house for dinner?
Conversation Tail
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616) from Marvel Knights Spider-Man Vol 1 4 001
John Jonah Jameson
At my age, I can't remember what I had for breakfast.
Conversation Tail
Jennie Sheldon (Earth-616) from Secret Empire Brave New World Vol 1 3 001
Jennie Sheldon
You said, "Fighting for the truth isn't our job, it's our calling."
Conversation Tail
Secret Empire: Brave New World #3
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J.J.Jameson
If you ask me, Osborn's been working too hard. He needs a good vacation.
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George Stacy (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 66
George Stacy
I think it's more than that, Jameson. He should seek psychiatric help!
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John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J.J.Jameson
Balderdash! You'd never get me to a headshrinker!
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George Stacy (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 66
George Stacy
Too bad.
Conversation Tail
John Jonah Jameson (Earth-616)
J.J.Jameson
What's that?
Conversation Tail
George Stacy (Earth-616) from Amazing Spider-Man Vol 1 66
George Stacy
Nothing.
Conversation Tail
Spectacular Spider-Man Magazine #2