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I didn't know what the @#!*% was going on. But it was an invasion. Right here in America. An invasion! And my first thought -- my first thought was: The baby! I've got to find and protect the baby. And maybe that doesn't surprise you, but it surprised the @#!*% out of me. I will confess this... When I first auditioned to be the nanny, I was really hoping that the Avengers would notice me and say amongst themselves: We really need her on the team. I took this job hoping to be an Avenger but now all I cared about -- all I cared about was protecting the child.
Happy Holidays! Squirrel Girl here. And this is my girl-squirrel, Tippy-Toe! We just wanted to welcome you to the GLX-Mas Special and warn you about some 'a the stuff inside... ....Like violence, suicide, and an inappropriate use of the word "flock." If you theink you might be offended by any of that, Marvel is also putting out a Punisher X-Mas special...So, there you go.
I didn't know what the hell was going on. But it was an invasion. Right here in America. An invasion! And my first thought -- my first thought was: The baby! I've got to find and protect the baby. And maybe that doesn't surprise you, but it surprised the hell out of me. I will confess this... When I first auditioned to be the nanny, I was really hoping that the Avengers would notice me and say amongst themselves: We really need her on the team. I took this job hoping to be an Avenger but now all I cared about -- all I cared about was protecting the child.
Squirrel Girl, Squirrel Girl! She's a human and also a squirrel! Can she climp up a tree? Yes she can, easily. That's whyyyy her name is Squirrel Girl! Is she though? Listed bud: She's got partially squirrel blood. Who's her friend? Don't you know: That's the squirrel Tippy-Toe. Surprise! She likes to talk to squirrels! At the top of trees, is where she spends her time like a huuuuman squirrel she enjoys fighting crime!! Squirrel Girl, Squirrel Girl! Powers of both squirrel and girl! Finds some nuts, eats some nuts, kicks bad guuuuuys' evil butts! To her, life is a great big acorn! Where there's a city crime-torn, you'll find the Squirrel Girl!!!
Okay. Okay. All right, well, it's not like you leave me much of a choice. Get in the purse, Tippy-Toe. I guess I'm not joining anime club after all. I guess I'm just gonna have to go kick Galactus's butt instead.
Attention, crazy mind-controlled mob!! I know how Ratatoskr works, how she preys on your insecurity and jealousy to make you attack others because you feel bad about yourself. But you don't have to let that happen! The only reason you'd do that is if you're ashamed of your insecurities! I am a super hero and I am here to tell you that feeling insecure is nothing to be ashame of. We all have anxieties, but--and this may sound crazy--they're actually kinda what makes us awesome! Red talk: I was insecure about my own fighting and jealuos of other people's skills. So you know what I did? I got better at fighting!! Envy isn't about the person you're jealous of: it's about yourself. It's your mind telling you exactly what you want' and you know what that is? That's friggin' self-knowledge, and it's the most important thing in the universe. It's how we tell ouselves that we need to work on in order to make ourselves the better, happier, more awesome version of us that we deserve to be! So what do you say, huh? Let's do it! Let's not let our feelings control us, but let's instead use this feelings, turning them towards productive personal growth instead of petty acts of violence! Let's by the change we're insecure and jealous about in the world!!
Oh my gosh,youguys. You've made your point. Fine. I hereby acknowledge that there are other super heroes willing to keep everyone safe, and therefore, yes, we can take my mom up on her offer to have us come visit for a girl's only weekend.