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What If? Vol 1 34

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What If?

What If? Vol 1 34
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Quote1 Let's have some fun for once! Let's do a whole book full of alternate unrealities! Quote2
-- Uatu the Watcher

Appearing in "The Fantastic Four were Bananas"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Fantastic Four were Bananas"Edit

The Fantastic Four are literally bananas; though patently absurd, it does have a certain appeal.

Appearing in "Odin were Peter Parker's Uncle"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Odin were Peter Parker's Uncle"Edit

Odin married May Parker, easily defeated the burglar that came to rob their house

Appearing in "Don Blake and Tony Stark were brothers"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Don Blake and Tony Stark were brothers"Edit

Don Blake and Tony Stark are brothers who fight over each other's objects of power. Tony was adopted.

Appearing in "Aunt May were Ant Man"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Aunt May were Ant Man"Edit

Aunt May Parker was Ant-Man, making the Parker family full of bugs. Uatu suggests they move into a roach motel.

Appearing in "Spider-Man married Spider-Woman"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Spider-Man married Spider-Woman"Edit

Spider-Man married Spider-Woman in lieu of Black Widow. His aunt and rogue's gallery were in attendance.

Appearing in "Reed Richards took postman Willie Lumpkin up on his offer to join the Fantastic Four"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Reed Richards took postman Willie Lumpkin up on his offer to join the Fantastic Four"Edit

Willie Lumpkin joined the Fantastic Four. Apparently the Richards of this reality was as stupid as the 616 version is smart. Soon anyone with any kind of ability whatsoever were accepted as a member, including a veracious appetite...

Appearing in "Captain America chose to remain Nomad"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Captain America chose to remain Nomad"Edit

Steve Rogers remained Nomad, forcing the Captain America comic to run reprints.

Appearing in "Rick Jones left Captain Marvel in the Negative Zone"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

  • Earth-82808 (Rick Jones left Captain Mar-Vell stranded in the Negative Zone)

Synopsis for "Rick Jones left Captain Marvel in the Negative Zone"Edit

  • Synopsis not yet written.

Appearing in "Nick Fury had to wear an eyepatch on his right eye"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Nick Fury had to wear an eyepatch on his right eye"Edit

Nick Fury wore eyepatch on right eye, making all of the Life Model Decoys obsolete.

Appearing in "Ghost Rider had possessed Grandpa"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Ghost Rider had possessed Grandpa"Edit

Ghost Rider possessed wheelchair-bound grandfather in old folks home

Appearing in "Ghost Rider had possessed a Skater"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Ghost Rider had possessed a Skater"Edit

Ghost Rider possessed a female roller skater.

Appearing in "Ghost Rider had possessed a baby"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Ghost Rider had possessed a baby"Edit

Ghost Rider possessed an infant.

Appearing in "Everyone who'd ever been an Avenger remained an Avenger"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Everyone who'd ever been an Avenger remained an Avenger"Edit

All Avengers members stayed with the team permanently.

Appearing in "Him had married Her"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Him had married Her"Edit

Him married Her and had two children and a dog in the suburbs.

Appearing in "Black Bolt got the hiccups"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Black Bolt got the hiccups"Edit

Black Bolt got the hiccups, devastating New York City.

Appearing in "Galactus ate the Earth"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Galactus ate the Earth"Edit

Galactus literally ate the Earth.

Appearing in "Kazar were a middle-aged accountant"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Kazar were a middle-aged accountant"Edit

After an electrolysis treatment, Ka-Zar no longer wants to whack saurians, and decides to become a certified public accountant by mail. From there he began wearing a tie (with no shirt), and gave formal lecture tours.

Appearing in "The Hulk were yellow"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Hulk were yellow"Edit

The Hulk was yellow, but not a chicken.

Appearing in "The Invisible Girl dyed her hair"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Invisible Girl dyed her hair"Edit

Invisible Girl dyed her hair and no one could tell because she was invisible.

Appearing in "Power Man were white"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Power Man were white"Edit

Luke Cage is a funky honky, apparently.

Appearing in "The Thing were blue"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Thing were blue"Edit

The Thing sobbed uncontrollably since his transformation, and was covered in Blue Rock instead of Orange. His catch phrase was, "It's Slobberin' Time!"

Appearing in "Captain Marvel hadn't died"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Captain Marvel hadn't died"Edit

Mar-Vell was cured of his cancer, and went on to live a relatively dull life.

Appearing in "Phoenix still lived"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Phoenix still lived"Edit

The Phoenix survived and pretended to be normal.

Appearing in "Elektra had survived"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Elektra had survived"Edit

Elektra survived the encounter with Bullseye and gave up her life of crime and adventure, attempting instead to get married, "or something."

Appearing in "Dazzler had become a stand-up comedian"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Dazzler had become a stand-up comedian"Edit

Dazzler became a comedian instead of a singer, using the laughter of her foes to form hard light weapons.

Appearing in "Marvel Comics and the National Endowment for the Arts presented Spidey Intellectual Stories"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Marvel Comics and the National Endowment for the Arts presented Spidey Intellectual Stories"Edit

Marvel produced a more intellectual version of Amazing Spider-Man, where he convinced his foes against their own actions using verbal logic.

Appearing in "Willie Lumpkin were Herald to Galactus"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Willie Lumpkin were Herald to Galactus"Edit

Willie Lumpkin became a Herald of Galactus, delivering the news of impending doom via post-marked mail.

Appearing in "Ghost Rider owned a fast food franchise"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Ghost Rider owned a fast food franchise"Edit

Ghost Rider owned a fast food restaurant named "Burger Hell". Apparently you could only order things his way there.

Appearing in "All the super heroes moved to Toledo, Ohio"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "All the super heroes moved to Toledo, Ohio"Edit

All of the heroes who lived in New York moved to Toledo, Ohio, where they hung out together at the local Social Club.

Appearing in "The Watchers in all the realities got together and watched Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Watchers in all the realities got together and watched Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers watching Watchers"Edit

The Watchers watched each-other in alternate realities rather than paying attention to their own.

Appearing in "Howard the Duck formed his own Super-Team"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Howard the Duck formed his own Super-Team"Edit

Howard the Duck formed an Avengers team completely of animals. Aragorn, Devil Dinosaur, Dragon Man, Emma the winged ant, Lockjaw, Redwing, and Zabu were all members.

Appearing in "Thor had a Swedish accent"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Thor had a Swedish accent"Edit

Thor spoke in a Swedish accent.

Appearing in "Cyclops's energy beams came out of his ears"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Cyclops's energy beams came out of his ears"Edit

  • Synopsis not yet written.

Appearing in "Wonder Man were a woman and Power Man were a girl"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Wonder Man were a woman and Power Man were a girl"Edit

Wonder Man & Power Man had female counterparts, but DC Comics wouldn't let their names be changed to Wonder Woman and Power Girl.

Appearing in "Black Bolt were a rock star"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Black Bolt were a rock star"Edit

Black Bolt & the Inhumans were a rock band who leveled the arenas they played in. Their fans still enjoyed the music, but Uatu did not.

Appearing in "Daredevil was deaf instead of blind"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Daredevil was deaf instead of blind"Edit

Daredevil was deaf instead of blind

Appearing in "The Marvel production crew existed in this reality, and the Marvel Editorial Crew did too"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Marvel production crew existed in this reality, and the Marvel Editorial Crew did too"Edit

Marvel Comics Production Crew & Editorial Crew existed in a world of super heroes

Appearing in "Tony Stark had owned an Auto Plant instead of a Weapons Factory"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Tony Stark had owned an Auto Plant instead of a Weapons Factory"Edit

Stark used his auto plant to create the Limo Man armor.

Appearing in "Sue Storm had become The Thing"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Sue Storm had become The Thing"Edit

Sue Storm received the rock-like hide and Ben received the invisibility powers.

Appearing in "Moon Knight got all his identities mixed up"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Moon Knight got all his identities mixed up"Edit

Moon Knight became confused about which identity he was using, and ended up fighting crime while driving a cab in a costume.

Appearing in "The Watcher grew hair"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Watcher grew hair"Edit

The Watcher forced himself to grow hair.

Appearing in "Alpha Flight talked like T.V. Canadians"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Alpha Flight talked like T.V. Canadians"Edit

Alpha Flight spoke in a stereotypical Canadian accent, much like that on "Strange Brew."

Appearing in "Silver Surfer, White Tiger, Night Rider, Iceman, and Moon Knight fought Wendigo in a Snowstorm"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Silver Surfer, White Tiger, Night Rider, Iceman, and Moon Knight fought Wendigo in a Snowstorm"Edit

The Silver Surfer, Night Rider, White Tiger, Iceman, and Moon Knight all fought Wendigo in a snowstorm. No one could see what was happening.

Appearing in "The Black Panther fought the Shroud in a coalmine"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Black Panther fought the Shroud in a coalmine"Edit

Black Panther fought the Shroud inside a coal mine. Neither of them could see what was happening.

Appearing in "Moon Knight had 3 different identities"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Moon Knight had 3 different identities"Edit

Moon Knight had three different identities than Moon Knight-616: pest exterminator, rat fur millionaire, and comic book editor.

Appearing in "King Conan were Bing Conan on the road to Hyboria"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "King Conan were Bing Conan on the road to Hyboria"Edit

Bing Conan and Chester swallowed by tropical fish, deposited on tropical island on the road to Hyboria.

Appearing in "Black Bolt hosted a television talk show"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Black Bolt hosted a television talk show"Edit

Black Bolt hosted a television talk show, and couldn't ask his guests any questions.

Appearing in "Bruce Banner's pants didn't stretch"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Bruce Banner's pants didn't stretch"Edit

Bruce Banner's pants did not stretch when he became the Hulk, and he was left nude and embarrassed every time he transformed.

Appearing in "You went to the movies and had to sit behind the Leader"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "You went to the movies and had to sit behind the Leader"Edit

The Leader went to see a movie & blocked everyone's view with his head.

Appearing in "Aunt May became The Invincible Golden Oldie"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Aunt May became The Invincible Golden Oldie"Edit

Aunt May became a super hero, wearing armor as The Invincible Golden Oldie.

Appearing in "Aunt May became The Astonishing Ant-Aunt"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Aunt May became The Astonishing Ant-Aunt"Edit

Aunt May became a super hero with shrinking powers, taking the name, "The Astonishing Ant-Aunt!"

Appearing in "Aunt May became Auntie Freeze"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Aunt May became Auntie Freeze"Edit

Aunt May became a super hero with ice powers, taking the name, "Auntie Freeze."

Appearing in "Reed Richards had not invented unstable molecules"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

  • Earth-24883 (Reed Richards never created unstable molecules)

Synopsis for "Reed Richards had not invented unstable molecules"Edit

Because Reed Richards never invented unstable molecules, the Fantastic Four's uniforms cannot adapt to their powers(e.g. Johnny Storm burns up his clothes every time he uses his flame powers, and Reed Richards' costume does not stretch along with his body.

Appearing in "The Hulk married the She-Hulk: I Love She-Hulk"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Hulk married the She-Hulk: I Love She-Hulk"Edit

Hulk & She-Hulk married, and their lives became much like those on "I Love Lucy".

Appearing in "The Hulk married the She-Hulk: She-Hulkie"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "The Hulk married the She-Hulk: She-Hulkie"Edit

Hulk married She-Hulk, and their life closely resembled the syndicated comic strip, "Blondie".

Appearing in "Norrin Radd had not volunteered to become the Silver Surfer"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Norrin Radd had not volunteered to become the Silver Surfer"Edit

Instead of becoming the Silver Surfer, Norrin Radd and Shalla-Bal abandoned Zenn-La to Galactus.

Appearing in "Dazzler had decided to become a Lawyer"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Dazzler had decided to become a Lawyer"Edit

Dazzler became a lawyer, asking the jury to let her clients go in song.

Appearing in "Luke Cage had found the hammer of Thor"Edit

Luke Cage used Mjlonir and became Thor.

Quote1 By the gleamin' gates of funky Asgard, you suckers are gonna eat hammer! Quote2
--Luke


Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Luke Cage had found the hammer of Thor"Edit

Luke Cage found the Hammer of Thor

Appearing in "Doctor Strange were an ordinary magician"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Doctor Strange were an ordinary magician"Edit

Doctor Strange was an ordinary magician

Appearing in "Obnoxio the Clown became Sherlock Clown"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Obnoxio the Clown became Sherlock Clown"Edit

Obnoxio the Clown became Sherlock Clown. The result was elementary.

Appearing in "Obnoxio became a bat-like hero"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Obnoxio became a bat-like hero"Edit

Obnoxio became a bat-like hero, charging the elderly protection fees.

Appearing in "Obnoxio became Spider-Man-like hero"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Obnoxio became Spider-Man-like hero"Edit

Obnoxio became a Spider-Man-like hero, until the heights of web swinging made him nauseous.

Appearing in "Obnoxio the Clown became Obnoxio-Hulk"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Obnoxio the Clown became Obnoxio-Hulk"Edit

Obnoxio the Clown became Obnoxio-Hulk, becoming more obnoxious the angrier he got.

Appearing in "Obnoxio-Wolverine"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Obnoxio-Wolverine"Edit

Obnoxio the Clown became Obnoxio-Wolverine, opening six packs of beer a dozen at a time using his claws.

Appearing in "Obnoxio-Daredevil"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Obnoxio-Daredevil"Edit

Obnoxio the Clown became Obnoxio-Daredevil, eavesdropping on punchlines all over town.

Appearing in "Obnoxio the Clown gained superman-like powers"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Obnoxio the Clown gained superman-like powers"Edit

Obnoxio the Clown gained superman-like powers, punching holes in mountains instead of fighting crime.

Appearing in "Obnoxio the Clown became a Watcher"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Obnoxio the Clown became a Watcher"Edit

Obnoxio the Clown became a Watcher, only watching old T.V. sitcoms.

Appearing in "Daredevil could see"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Daredevil could see"Edit

Daredevil wasn't blind, and was filled with fear at the sight of dangerous criminals.

Appearing in "Thor got a haircut"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Thor got a haircut"Edit

Thor got a haircut, causing his helmet to fall down over his eyes

Appearing in "Spider-Man had married The Black Widow"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Spider-Man had married The Black Widow"Edit

Spider-Man married Black Widow, who ate him.

Appearing in "Iron Man had an Eating disorder"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Iron Man had an Eating disorder"Edit

Tony Stark developed an eating problem instead of a drinking problem, and his extra weight caused his missions as Iron Man to be less than successful, and necessitated his use of a crowbar to get the pants on.

Appearing in "Doctor Doom had a sense of humor"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Doctor Doom had a sense of humor"Edit

Dr. Doom used various comedic props, including a rubber chicken and a fake nose and mustache.

Appearing in "Galactus needed quick cash"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Galactus needed quick cash"Edit

Galactus tried to pawn the Silver Surfer for cash.

Appearing in "Stan Lee reads this issue"Edit

Characters:

Reality:

Synopsis for "Stan Lee reads this issue"Edit

Stan Lee fired those responsible for this issue of What If?.

NotesEdit

  • The initial story, "What if The Watcher were a stand-up comedian?" does not have a reality associated with it. However the contributors should still receive credit:
  • Pencilers: Ron Wilson (Kirbyesque panels), Rick Parker (wacky Watcher)
  • Inkers: Rick Parker (wacky Watcher)
  • Letterers: Diana Albers, Rick Parker[4]


TriviaEdit

  • No trivia.


See AlsoEdit


  • None.


  • None.
  1. ↑ Ron Zalme (himself, Barry Shapiro?), Joe Albelo (himself), Rick Parker (himself, Rob Carosella, Nora Maclin, Harry Candelario), John Morelli (himself), Bob Camp (himself), ? (Danny Crespi), Morrie Kuramoto (himself), Eliot R. Brown (himself) Mark Gruenwald (Denny O'Neil, himself), Jim Salicrup (himself), Ron Zalme (Mike Carlin, Danny Fingeroth), ? (Louise Jones), Marie Severin (Ralph Macchio, Linda Grant), Rick Parker (Al Milgrom), Larry Hama (Ann Nocenti), Lance Tooks (himself), Mike Carlin (Tom DeFalcocomics.org
  2. ↑ Caricature credits added 2005 by Steven Tice, with input from Jim Salicrup, Danny Fingeroth, Mike Carlin, and Rick Parker, Caricature art credits added 2005 by Steven Tice, with input from Jim Salicrup, Danny Fingeroth, Mike Carlin, Al Milgrom, Ron Zalme, and Rick Parker. Al Milgrom is certain he did not do his own caricature.
  3. ↑ This doesn't make much sense, since this story is based in the Multiverse, and not a specific reality. Nonetheless, the reality number is marvunapp.com's claim.
  4. ↑ Rick Parker's panel confirmed 2005 by Rick Parker. Ron Wilson credit derived from the letters page of What If? #38. comics.org


 

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