F*ck these guys! F*ck these comics! F*ck these stupid characters... I will never do that shit again! ...But who was I kidding? The beast was friggin' in me, man. As soon as I was off the crutches, I was back pounding the streets. 
Appearing in "Kick-Ass"
Featured Characters:
- Kick-Ass (Dave Lizewski) (Main story and flashback)
Supporting Characters:
Antagonists:
- unnamed taggers (Only in flashback)
- unnamed gang members
Other Characters:
- Jesus Christ (Invoked)
- God (Mentioned)
- NYPD
- Mrs. Lizewski (Vision or hallucination)
- Todd Haynes
- Marty
- Johnny
- John McClane (Mentioned)
Races and Species:
Locations:
- Earth
- United States of America
- New York
- New York City
- Manhattan
- Greenwich Village (First appearance)
- Saint Vincent's Hospital (First appearance)
- Greenwich Village (First appearance)
- Manhattan
- New York City
- New York
- Eastern Europe (Mentioned)
- China (Vision or hallucination)
- Great Wall of China (Vision or hallucination)
- United States of America
- Hell (Invoked)
Items:
- Kick-Ass suit (Main story and flashback)
- Dual batons
- YouTube (Mentioned)
Vehicles:
- Mercedes-Benz (Only in flashback)
Synopsis for "Kick-Ass"
Dave Lizewski is in the hospital recovering from the broken back and two broken legs received from being hit by a car. His memory is spotty, but he does remember ditching his superhero costume before the paramedics arrived, keeping his alter-ego a secret for now. Months of surgery, counseling, and therapy later he's allowed to go home, where he feels guilty watching his father turn the living room into a make-shift infirmary and work harder than before to chase the bills. Depressed and guilty, he burns his comics and swears off of his super hero experiment, though as soon as he's off the crutches he puts the suit right back on. Back on the street a group of young women mistake him for a pervert on account of his uniform and verbally accost him, following him down the street. At the same time a man bumps into Lizewski running away from something. Three more men arrive on the scene right behind him and start delivering a vicious beating, which Lizewski jumps in the middle of, saving the first guy. The "save" is caught on video by an onlooker's camera phone, who exclaims "this is so going on YouTube."
Solicit Synopsis
Notes
- This issue was dedicated to Paul James Downie
Trivia
- Dave's friends compare him to John McClane of the Die Hard film series when he tells them he was mugged.