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Wade Wilson (Earth-616)/Quotes
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This page contains a listing of all notable quotes by or about Wade Wilson (Earth-616).
It may not be the definitive list, so please add any important quotations that may be missing, ensuring to cite the original source.
Pages with a quote from this character will automatically be added here along with the quote.
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Quotes by Wade Wilson (Earth-616)
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Not enough to justify what's about to happen to my pedicure. And I paid extra for the little Blackest Night symbols, too. My feets is a rainbow of power... 
- Duh! Paper or plastic? Hellooo? You have any idea what plastic bags do to the environment? I'm Al Gore's message of death, bee-yotch!
- Well if it isn't Nathan Christopher Dayspring Askani'son Summers... or are you just calling yourself Priscilla now?
- Hey. Naked Avengers painted on the side of the pool. This guy's a loser but he's my kind of loser. Where's Sue Richards...? Duh, Invisible
- ...For the love of Bill Gates, this thing is adorable...
- No--wait-- do you have any idea how many STD's I could have?
- Did you ever have one of those lives...?
- ''Rolaids only has seven letters.
- Can you send me forward to the time when I was mowing my lawn and my next door neighbor, Mrs. Nowicki, asked if I could rub lotion on her back and I ran and locked myself in the Bathroom? I'd really like a do-over on that one, please.
- Don't you ninja monks ever shower? I mean, what are you...french?
- Bring me more Pop Rocks and Dr. Pepper. Prepare to bathe my monkeys.
- Say Jar Jar Binks is an abomination. Say it!
- You don't want to eat me. I irritate the bowel.
- You have any idea how hard it is to find a joint that'll serve a guy in a mask and bandolier? They won't even let me into Taco Bell!
- In the immortal words of Clark Whatsisname -- up, up and away!
- Wow. Whaddaya know? Logic stops the Juggernaut!
- Where would one buy Hippity-Hops in bulk?
- It's an angel of God. My glorious Bea Arthur--
- You should talk. Your costume's so tight you can tell what religion you are. Ever hear of a cup?
- Shut up! The old Spidey-tracer trick? I can't believe you still get away with that.
- You mean Tomb? No worries there -- he's been taken to the po-po by some buddies of mine. He's about to do some serious time. I'm talkin' "wearing-a-dress" time.
- Come ta think of it -- I've seen tougher KEN dolls than you! An' I mean take yer pick here -- mod-hair Ken -- disco Ken -- summer fun Ken -- I let Barbie whip me 'cos I'm a wuss Ken -- Any o' you guys lissenin' t'me?
- Did he say Jughead-naut? Is that someone who searches for the Archies?
- Edsel, huh? Good name for yer little tank...'cause for all the crud you three just put me through -- I'm gonna make you all obsolete!
- AAAAAAAAGHHH!! Packing chips! That's the greatest weapon on the face of the planet -- styrofoam packing chips! Just imagine getting nailed by some of these babies! Oh the humanity!
- Show off the new bling, people! WE ARE THE DEADPOOL CORPS.'
- By the power of gray sku-- No. Damn it. How do you activate this stupid--
- Oh my God! I FORGOT THE DOG!''
- What the hell's a quatloon? Some Kind of Potato?
- I really find you very attractive. Did I say that out loud?
- This guy's got to be rare, and I'm a friend of the earth...so I'll tranq him, and take him to a brilliant zoologist somewhere who can teach him to eat fruit and chill. ...Maybe learn sign language and get a kitten.
- I'll hold your hair back while you puke, cuz that's just the kinda guy I am.
- BREAKER! BREAKER! This here's the Big Dee Pee! You copy, good buddy? I'm comin' up on your tail! I'm puttin' the hammer down! I'm catchin' you on the flip-side! WE GOT US A CONVOY!
- So what do you say, boys...? Team up...?
- You know something? I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
- UGH! That was awful...all my thoughts strung together so dreadfully dull and plodding...like some glacially moving freight train of suck! My God...that must be what it's like...to be a total loser like you!
- "Pwangg?" Trees don't go "Pwangg--" Llamas don't go "Pwangg--" Nothing found in nature goes "Pwangg", which means -- we're officially hip deep in the smelly stuff.
- Please, Al, a little warning next time... Some of us aren't blind y'know?
- Shhh. My common sense is tingling.
- "Time to make the donuts! Wait maybe you were expecting me to say spoon...
- Lay off the geriatric jokes will ya?
- My God, I'm not some human scab-factory anymore!
- -- How do you say "Oh, $#@!" in Skrull-ese?
- I've been besmirched! This besmirchment will not stand!
- Oh, no! He's beating our meat!
- You know what? &@#$ tacos. And waiting. Damn you, Bullseye...damn you for making me hurt the ones I love. This time, it's personal. This time...it's for the tacos.
- ''AHRR! Let's get it on...pirate-style!
- I'm gonna join the X-Men.
- His name is Hit-Monkey. He's a hitman. Who's a monkey. You don't believe me. Look around you, dude -- he's real. And he's here. In your city.
- Answer me something, Egghead. Was it just because I have an accelerated healing factor that I was able to take down an entire unit of Skrulls -- including Chilly McHotpants over here?
- Take you stinking paws off him, you damn dirty --
- Tell your partner in crime over there in the truck to come on out. So I can multi-smite.
- Got a proposition for ya, Grizz. Think you're gonna like it"
- Hey, check it out -- they had a bomb in there! So I used it to bomb their asses! Who's the man?
- These colors don't run. Unless they have to!
- Wow, you look... really hot with that gun. Wanna go get some tacos with me after I finish killing the rest of these Draculas?
- ... Just a great big bag of shiny new gold coins. With a dusty claymore in the bottom of it.
- Wait...why is it called "Point One"? Who Cares? At least this issue there is a point.
- Now this chair is really comfortable. Yeah. But can it Explode?! Didn't think so.
- Just so you know?' This was all my plan, not yours. I used you. You gave me exactly what I wanted. I wanna die.
- And...you have dolphin teeth.
- What do I do? Stinky Fish Head and Huey Lewis are holding my lady friend hostage and I only have two bullets left! How in the world am I going to use these conveniently placed Christmas decorations to save her?
- Yeah. That is a gun in my pants. But that doesn't mean I'm not happy to see you...
- You're looking at the chihuahua, right? Sometimes I go too far, I'm the first to admit it.
- His name is Hit-Monkey. He's a hitman. Who's a monkey. You don't believe me. Look around you, dude -- he's real. And he's here. In your city.
- Ha! Eat that, Hitler!
- Dude, I had to hack that off to save you from zombie germs. You should totally put me on your Christmas card list.
- Deadpools Assemble! No. Wait. That's been done. Huh. What could we call ourselves? What could a corps of Deadpools call a bunch of Deadpools that are all Deadpool at our core? Hmmmmmmmm.
- Sh-shot through the heart...AND YOU'RE TO BLAME! Awww, you give love -- a bad name! Daww dawww dada dada dawww dawwww.
- We sort of glazed over something here...this life seed, it'll kill him? Are we talking about killing Warren?
- If you're not Black Cat, then I'm done. But first -- The Olsen Twins: Good? Evil? Or part of the elaborate C.I.A. plot?
- Nobody steals my girl and gets away with it.
- Hulkpool love it when a plan come together! Him and Bob go back in time...to kill Deadpool dead!!!
- To me, my guns!
- What's goin' on here, woman?
- Tell 'em time and time again -- keep your mouth shut -- but women, you know? They-just-don't-listen!
- ...so, a guys goes to a doctor and says -- "Doctor, it hurts when I do" -- "this!"
Conversations with Wade Wilson (Earth-616)Edit
 Cannonball |
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 Deadpool |
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 Cable |
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Deadpool |
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Cable |
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Deadpool |
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Cable |
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Cable |
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Deadpool |
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 Cable |
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 Deadpool |
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Cable |
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Deadpool |
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 Siryn |
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Deadpool |
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Deadpool |
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 Headpool |
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| Deadpool |
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Deadpool |
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 Kidpool |
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 Cyclops |
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Deadpool |
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Cyclops |
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Deadpool |
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 Wolverine |
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Deadpool Deadpool shoots Wolverine |
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Deadpool |
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Deadpool's inner voice |
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Deadpool |
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 Norman Osborn |
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Deadpool |
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Wolverine |
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Deadpool |
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Deadpool QuotesEdit
 Siryn |
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Deadpool |
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- Pardoneth me, fair lady, but dost thou have any Grey Poupon?
- --Deadpool As Beta Ray Wade
- Is that a Megazord?
- --Deadpool looking at an animated dinosaur statue at a museum, Secret Defenders
Deadpool |
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 Shadowcat |
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Deadpool |
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- Yay, now is fighty time, fighty time, blood, blood, blood!
- -- Deadpool (singing before Wolverine attacks him)
- You've got a reputation to uphold. So... LEAP!
- In Mortal Danger. In Shadows, a Psychopath. Step into the Light.
- --Deadpool (Haiku made by Deadpool inner Voice #1) Deadpool Vol 2, Issue 11
Cable & DeadpoolEdit
Cable |
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Deadpool |
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- So I'm thinkin' a temple of blind, deaf an' mute monks ain't the best place to carry on this conversation, huh?
 Fixer (Norbert Ebersol) |
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Deadpool |
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Fixer (Norbert Ebersol) |
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Deadpool |
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Fixer (Norbert Ebersol)
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Deadpool |
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Fixer (Norbert Ebersol) |
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[[]] [throwing a bomb into the pool]
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- Well, Samuel, just cause you got rocket-farting powers,I'm not gonna split hairs and I'm not gonna fight my teammates. I mean, unless it involves Terry's clothes coming off and mud or chocolate pudding or something like that. I'm only here to find Cable.
- -- (Cable & Deadpool #15)
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| Deadpool]] |
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| Man |
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Deadpool
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- Concussion....Grenade...Ouch...Healing Factor...The Old Pain Receptors...Constantly Shuffling...Letting Me Absorb...The Blast...But...Now...Talking...Like...Shatner
 Spider Man |
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Deadpool |
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Deadpool
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- ..... Destiny wants a garbage man and i'm it... i'm always it. Bang Bang. I'm Deadpool. You're dead.
- AVENGERS ASSEMBLE...waited all my life to say that. come let us off!! let us go avenge something!
 Loki Laufeyson (Earth-616) |
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Deadpool |
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| Loki Laufeyson (Earth-616) |
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Deadpool |
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| Loki Laufeyson (Earth-616) |
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Deadpool |
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| Loki Laufeyson (Earth-616) |
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- No...no mayonnaise, it'll frighten the children.
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