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I almost made it work. The Guardians were more than I could ever have hoped for! But the universe is also more dangerous than I ever imagined! Look around! This is the kind of thing that can happen! The galaxy doesn't need guardians! It doesn't need brave souls! If it's going to survive another one of these, it's going to need absolute bad-asses! It's going to need the biggest guns of all! Cosmic heavy hitters as scary as the menaces they have to face! It's going to need flarking annihilators!
So the Inhumans bugged out and left us to face the music. I dunno, I was raised to believe in old school, karmic wisdom. You know, like 'necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows' and 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend.' And 'just because an ad hoc but charismatically led team of intergalactic heroes makes a bad first impression, you don't ditch them and leave them to face a full-scale maximum prejudice Shi'ar assault.' Stuff like that.
Hey, Thanos! Hey, Thanos, baby! Over here, big fellah! Yoooohooo! Look what I got! Eh? Pretty, huh? Yeah, that's right. Come on. You know you want it. Cosmic Cube. Unbelievably powerful. Grants wishes. Twists realities. You had one yourself once, right? You may be feral, mindless -- but you can still feel the heat of it, can't you? Familiar. Kang gave me this. Kang the flarking conqueror. He handed it to me at the other end of time so I could beat Magus with it. It was broken, pretty much spent. It had just enough juice in it for one last zap. I zapped Adam with it. Though I'd used it up. I figured it was just a hunk of junk crystal. But it turns out Magus tricked me. Our whole fight with him was one big illusion. I only thought I used this thing. So it's still got power enough for that one last shot. Bang.
And I need you to read this last wish in my head. This dream. Read it carefully. I almost made it work. The Guardians were more than I could ever have hoped for! But the universe is also more dangerous than I ever imagined! Look around! This is the kind of thing that can happen! The galaxy doesn't need guardians! It doesn't need brave souls! If it's going to survive another one of these, it's going to need absolute bad-asses! It's going to need the biggest guns of all! Cosmic heavy hitters as scary as the menaces they have to face! It's going to need flarking annihilators!